Friday, July 01, 2005


These are really really REALLY good fireworks.

Really. I wouldn't kid about this. I know they look like rather ordinary fireworks. You really need to go and see them for yourself. Get a plot of real estate on the hub, as in front of the castle as humanly possible. Watch out....fireworks extraordinaire.... in front of you, above you, behind you. Watch the Matterhorn. Listen to the soundtrack. They really are really good. Small detail worth mentioning: you gotta buy a ticket and the price of tickets went up on June 20. Someone's gotta pay for all that boom boom boom. And it sure as hell ain't gonna be Michael Eisner. He has to watch his expenditures cause he's gonna be out of a job soon. Looming unemployment makes you stingy like that. His excuse during the previous 20whatever years? No clue.

These are NOT really really REALLY good fireworks. THESE are "Safe and Sane" fireworks.
Safe and Sane fireworks are adequate. You do not need to sit on the curb in front of your house for hours and hours on end to ensure a good seat. You can plop yourself down mere seconds before the show. This year, as in many years previous, we will ignite enough of these puppies to cause a Stage 4 smog alert in most major metropolitan cities. Three families, each buying enough to entertain the masses by themselves. We blow up small explosives for hours. It is legal arson. On no other day, except July 4, can you just blow up small boxes of gunpowder and no one really cares. Except for the kids who have spent the day playing really hard with their friends and had to wait until it was D.A.R.K. (and that happens around 9pm at that time of year in these parts) and would really just rather go to bed, thankyouverymuch. But no, dammit, you are going to stay up and you are GOING TO HAVE FUN watching Dad blow up small boxes of gunpowder.

Salute the flag. God Bless America. Let's blow stuff up.

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