Definitions...I'm helpful like that

For those who need them: (with help from Dictionary.com)

be·tray (b-tr)
tr.v. be·trayed, be·tray·ing, be·trays

1. 1. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
   2. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
2. To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one's better nature.
3. To divulge in a breach of confidence: betray a secret.
4. To make known unintentionally: Her hollow laugh betrayed her contempt for the idea.
5. To reveal against one's desire or will.
6. To lead astray; deceive.

practical joke
n.

A mischievous trick played on a person, especially one that causes the victim to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort.

Great and Wonderful

She's kinda embarrassed by the nickname she has acquired. But everytime I click on "The Great and Wonderful Cowtown Stacy" I say to myself.... Yes. Yes she is.

She is Great and Wonderful mostly because she is the kindest person I know. She is NOT nice. Don't call her nice. She gets...well, not nice about it. But she is most definitely kind.

She is unlikely to call anyone on an injustice done to her. She is very quick to come to the defense when she sees an injustice done to others. But it breaks my heart to see her taken advantage of. That kindness being used against her. I (and others) have often offered to take up her cause but she has asked we not. Lest it make the situation worse. So we just stew about it instead.

She is kind because she had a vacation planned. A get away. But an emergency happened. An emergency near her vacation spot. She forgo the kind of vacation she had planned to sit with a friend at the hospital. She brought her sunny disposition and wicked sense of humor to a very worried wife as she waited for her husband to come through brain surgery. If for no other reason, that makes her Great and Wonderful.

I could list all the reasons she qualifies for that title. But I'm sure you have other things to do today. Suffice it to say... the list is long.

So here's a shout out and a bit of (inadequate) recognition.

Who is your Great and Wonderful?

Blood Letting

Today was the Blood Drive at church. Sundays being Sundays, we signed up for one of the first slots. 8:45.

This is a mistake. Do not try to donate blood first thing in the morning. Whenever that may be for you. On Sundays, 8:45 is first thing. On a weekday, it would be mid-morning. I got up, got dressed and went to donate blood.

I had no water save that which I gulped after brushing my teeth. We tend to wake up on the dehydrated side of things.

One woman ahead of us couldn't donate because she was too dehydrated. They were worried about my ability for the same reason. No vein on the right side. They found one on the left. Of course it gave willingly and profusely once they found it.

Normy was ineligible because today is day 10 of his 10 day course of antibiotics after getting bit by that highstrung overgrown rodent of a dog our neighbors have.

But I am feeling that dehydration. I drank my orange juice. I had some Goldfish crackers and some Cracker Jack. But I almost passed out getting the fixings for lunch today at the grocery store on the way home. I am sitting quietly and consuming liquids now. I wasn't going to go to church because Emma is home feeling puny.... but I don't think it would be a good idea for me to go anyway.

Donate blood. It's a good thing.

Just make sure you're well hydrated.

I Seriously Need to Do Something Else Today

You Are 68% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

...but Blogthings is so addictive....

But of course!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro. You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

Huh.

Wasn't gonna GET the convertable.... Might have to rethink that....

If it only had a trunk larger than the glovebox....

New Additions

If you look over there on the right, you'll see a new blog. Mary is a knitter who frequently shows up to knit and share her expertise at Knitique. Needless to say, this is one of my favorite of her entries. And her Sockapalooza socks look even better in person (she brought them in yesterday!)

...and I really need to get the ol' digital camera out and take some pics of what I'm working on. Probably should have my own knitting blog.... Well, I do. But it doesn't have anything blogged...

What the heck...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=DaleyThoughts

Stacy might be a girl...but I know another one

Ol' Normylicious Dirpus read poor Stacy's account of a spider IN HER SHIRT and blogged the following:

Girls. Sheesh!

Uh huh. One word, bub.

Snakes.

We useta live in a house with a backyard. We useta have a lovable Bassett Hound named Molly. Molly was the mellow sort. Not prone to histrionics at all. Not a barker. Not a howler, much. So my attention was immediately attracted when she started frantically barking in the backyard. I looked out the window and thought "the dog has gone looney" cause she was indeed frantically barking.

At the ground.

Her nose was almost in the dirt. Probably would have been if she could have barked in that position.

I sent the child out to investigate. She looked. Took a giant step backward and said:

It's a snake.

{SIGH} Now I gotta deal with it.... okey fine....

I got the leather gardening gloves out because you never know with wild critters. I pulled the dog away and shut her in the garage. (which immediately caused her to calm down, probably took a nap.) The snake was coiled up tight with its head down the center of the coil. You could see it breathing hard or its heart beating hard. I picked it up and pet it. I could see and feel it relax.

I determined it was of the 'garden' or 'garter' variety. (Dirp is reading this and thinking... You weren't SURE???!!!! It might have been a KING COBRA!!!!) I took my glove off and pet it some more and encouraged the child to do the same. As the snake relaxed it started to uncoil and so we took it to the back fence and showed it the way out the fence into the garden behind us where it could slither free of raving Bassett Hounds.

I related this story pretty much the same as I have here to Dirp when he got home. And when I got to the part about letting the snake go free....he came unglued.

WHAT??? You LET IT GO??? You didn't get a shovel and pound it until it was DEAD???

Uh. No.

Then he remembered the part about the snake touching HIS gloves.

Dirpus got new gloves......

Yea... Stacy was a big ol' girl. But at least that critter was IN HER SHIRT....

Attitude

Kaitlyn takes zero period Spanish. That means, she has school before school starts. It allows her to take an extra elective. But it means school starts for her at 6:55am. I drive her. It's generally dark and cold, and today it was also rainy, at that time of day. I usually stumble out of bed and go wait for her in the car while heating up the seat heaters.

Today I overslept and she was w.a.i.t.i.n.g. for me. {SIGH} Great annoyance. Fortunately for her I was only about 25% awake and had only a vague impression of all this going on.

Norm turns on the news when he leaves for work for me. The idea is that people talking in my room will wake me up. It usually works... The impression that it wasn't Walt Gray, but Matt Lauer speaking is what woke me up on September 11 just in time to see the second plane hit on live TV.

In my quasi-awake state this morning I was fully aware when the announcement of the death of Dana Reeve was made. Loudly, I said "OH! NO!" and Kaitlyn came running (as much as one can run with a 25 pound backpack on...) Surely she was worried I had done something to further delay our departure....

"That poor boy...he's about Emma's age...." (actually more her age, but it was early and I couldn't remember)

And suddenly she was more relaxed about the whole getting to school thing. Will Reeve woke up this morning without parents. His mom wouldn't be taking him to school at any time today. In an instant she got that. And as I dropped her off at 6:45, her usual time, she said, as usual.... "Thanks...love you..." But maybe with a bit more gratitude in her heart.

Rest in peace Dana and Chris. We'll all be watching over your boy....

Tip of the Day

If you are in search of a good night's sleep, do NOT ingest 2 quarts of water 2 hours before bedtime.

Now I need more caffiene....

Shoes and Socks

All this fussing about both socks then both shoes.... or is it all one foot before the other? Which foot must be dressed first?

Who the hell cares?

Put on your underwear... this includes socks. Brush your teeth, put on your makeup (if you are so inclined) then put on the rest of your clothes. If you put on your pants and shirt before brushing your teeth, you are guaranteed to have some sort of tragic toothpaste accident in a socially inappropriate location.

Then sit down and think a minute....

Where WAS I when I got tired of wearing shoes yesterday???

Go to that place that you FIRST think of. Stand there and look at the spot without shoes and think... "ok, where was I ACTUALLY?"

Remember. Fetch shoes. If you are wearing the GOOD shoes, just slip them on. If you have the nasty kind with laces, sit down and put them on in any order.

Stand up and wonder.....

How long until summer and I don't NEED shoes and socks???? Cause this is just way too much bother....

Neighborhood Cleanup/Throw Your Junk In The Street Day

Once a year, we are given a "Neighborhood Clean Up Day". A free day to get rid of the big stuff. BIG stuff. Old refrigerators. Furniture, all sorts. Broken toys. You name it, it goes out there. Unless it's something like slightly decayed plutonium or something. There is a list of do's and don'ts. We are limited on the number of tires we can dispose of, for example. And we must stack them separately. I have yet to see tires. I have to wonder how many middle class homes have random TIRES hanging around. If I have an old tire, it was left at the tire store when I got a new one, ya know?

We are not to put things like computers and TV's out on the pile. These are "hazardous electronic waste". There will be directions on disposing of those things at a later date.

Furthermore, there shall be NO SCAVAGING.

So people put out their old TV's and computers and the scavengers take them away. Drive around the night before and behold that junk. The two sofas, in front of two different houses, that HAD to be the height of home furnishing fashion. In 1983. Wonder why they didn't just put "it" in the regular trash as "it" would surely fit without a problem. Realize that those little kids just aren't little anymore and the swing set has seen better days.

Be alert. Be VERY alert in the predawn hours. Scavengers are pawing through the piles. The Little Tykes Tool Bench is gone. The double mattress and box spring? Gone. So is the TV. Get out of the way, here comes one that is eyeing that turtle sandbox/wading pool.

In some ways, I feel rather sad. I see people obviously downtrodden and with less means going through the piles. But then I see someone in a $45,000 pick up truck that boasts of 7 miles per gallon and think.... y'all need to reprioritize. If you're getting your kids toys out of other people's trash.... get a cheaper car that costs less to drive and just BUY your kid a sandbox.

Humor through the eyes of a teen...

We rented "Young Frankenstein" tonight. We insisted both the girls watch it as part of their ongoing Cultural Education. They have had to watch old musicals like "Paint Your Wagon" and "Music Man" as part of this training as well.

"Young Frankenstein" is full of double entendres. Miss Emma doesn't give any sort of outward indication of it being funny at all.

But Miss Kate? A chortle. A nervous giggle. A snort.

Her father and I find THIS funnier than the original joke.

Sadly, they no longer think I am the originator of the "walk this way" command....

Gather your daughters 'round....

And lose an hour of your life.

Seriously.

Don't judge a book by its cover.... 'cause the cover lies....

Go to "Portfolio".

Agree not to do anything dastardly with the images.

Go to "before/after".

God Moments

Last weekend I went on our church's annual Women's Retreat. Last year I didn't go. I went to Texas. And that was the same thing....with less crying and more laughing. Probably same number of tears shed tho'.....

Anyway. This year's theme was "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord". Perhaps you know the song....

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
Open the eyes of my heart.
I want to see you.
I want to see you.

We sing it in worship every now and again and we sang it during the retreat. Our facilitator, Karen Oliveto, helped us to be more aware of and become more aware of the "God Moments". Those moments, things, people... in which God is present. Be less busy...and "open the eyes of your heart" and see God....

Today (as you have already read) I was at work. After the Big Return there was a lull in client traffic. During these times sometimes I visit with my co-workers. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I knit. Today as I was sitting there doing NONE of those things... just looking out the window watching the car traffic go by.... I had a sudden thought.

So I took my cell phone and sent a text message. It was a sentiment my friends and I often say to each other because one of us has said something that needed to be said and 'that' one said it... But today.... it just came to me. And I said it to her.

As I was finishing my take out Chinese food, she called me. She wondered what it was that she had said and to whom had she said it. She had spent several hours trying to remember.... Nope. Just had the thought.....

It seems she was having a particularly trying day today.

And in my moment of unbusyness, God spoke to my heart.

Stop. Listen. Open the eyes of your heart.

I just need to remember that.....

Why I Do What I Do

Because I'm good at it. And because there are way too many people out there taking people's monety to prepare their tax returns who don't know their ass from a 1040.

Today was the day that makes up for the liars and tax cheats that I encounter far too often.

They have been loyal clients of our major competitor. Their usual preparer had moved since last year and so were assigned to another preparer. This year, the taxes were more challenging. They had, this year, some unusual items to go on the return. Nothing particularly difficult... just had to pay attention and put everything in the right places. In many ways, rather straightforward. But not something we get every day.

The competitor started their return and got to the 'out of the ordinary' things and said... no can do. Oh...and by the way.... you'll probably owe the IRS over $14,000. They knew they would owe. Everyone told them so. And this tax preparer assured them it was true....they would.

She fretted about paying that bill. She asked if she can make payments. She wondered if a Home Equity Loan would be a better option. Would the interest on an Equity Loan be more or less than the IRS would charge?

So she called us. Asked if we would even be able to DO the return....you know...cause she had this extra stuff.... No problem she was told on the phone.

I admit. It gave me pause when she said the competitor couldn't do it. See... there ARE things we can't do. It is just beyond our scope of expertise. So I asked questions. I let her tell her story. I asked some more questions. I told her sure... I could do it. And yea... go get a soda... no need to watch me input numbers.....

She left her cell phone number in case I had a questions. I did. I knew it was coming but I wasn't sure of the EXACT wording (see the aforementioned 'unusual' aspect of this thing). I called. I asked my question. She gave me her answer.... and I felt a lot better.

We got through the rest of her federal return and I asked her if she was ready for the number. She took a deep breath and said, yes... yes she was....

$12,000 (and some odd in 'change').

Ok.... ok.... she said... it was a couple grand less than the competitor had estimated...ok....

In refund.

She looked at me. REFUND? I showed her the figures there on my screen. In a choked voice she asked if we had a restroom.....

When she returned with red eyes and a stuffy nose I explained. That very VERY important question.... It made all the difference. It made a $26,000 difference. This, of course, caused her a moment of panic.... why was it SO different?

I explained again. The very simple question the competitor did not ask.... it was all in that one question. And she started crying again.

And I told her.... you're probably going to owe the state...... And they do. A few hundred... not much at all really.

Then she said she didn't even care how much I was going to charge her. Good I thought.... cause it was gonna be spendy. We charge by the form, and this one required a LOT of forms....

When I told her how much they owed me...she laughed. Seems the competitor was going to charge them more too.....

As she stood to leave she shook my hand and said "I don't know whether to hug you, kiss you or just jump up and down!" I told her to just sleep well tonight. (yea.... I get enough germs thankyouverymuch...no offense...but shaking hands gives me the willies ENOUGH...no hugging...no kissing...)

She said "Yea... I haven't been sleeping very well worrying about how we were going to pay the IRS...."

It isn't often you get to give someone the gift of peaceful sleep.

I got to do that today.

Fire

We are always in a state of drought or semi-drought in California. 'Tis the nature of our geography.....

This year we've had quite a bit of rain. The good thing is that we need the water. The bad thing is rain makes vegetation grow. Everywhere.

Another quirk of our geography is the hot, VERY dry winds that come from the East...known as The Santa Ana Winds or The Santana Winds. The former for the hills that it comes sweeping over, the latter for what they really are.... Devil Winds.

Usually at this time of year, if we have them blow, they just make everyone cranky. Yep. These winds affect mood. It's like everyone is PMS-ing. But the abundance of vegetation and no rain for a few weeks and the drying effects of the winds....

Fire.

Mandatory Evacuations are in place. My friend from church... her family has been evacuated. They don't live too far from my own parents. I haven't spoken to them, but I am very very sure my mom would call if they were evacuated. My dad was probably out trying to keep ash out of the swimming pool when I called....

The fire is, from what I can gather from various news agencies, just on the other side of the hill from my parents. The toll road that is either loved or hated (depending on if you have access, I suppose) may end up being the savior... it is, at this point, the major fire break. But the canyon just a few miles from my parents is under voluntary evacuation.

The last time the fire was this close, I was in high school. It got smokier and smokier the closer we got to home after a parade. Horses were corralled on the tennis courts of school. Some bandos weren't allowed to go home as the area had been evacuated. Some of my classmates spent that weekend literally fighting fire in their backyards.

If that fire comes sweeping over the hill.... well, those are houses with shake roofs and mature trees and bushes....

And there is no rain on the horizon.....

Broken

Sometimes I feel like my body just does. not. like. me. I don't know why. I take reasonably good care of it. Most of the problems it has, it has brought upon itself..... *I* didn't inflict it with the various maladies. I take it to the doctor. I fix whatever is wrong with it as soon as possible.

So WHY??? Why would it just literally stab me in the back for the mere crime of STANDING UP?

Today has been a waste. It was supposed to be a watch movies and bake cookies day with Emma. We watched movies....no cookies.

We also went to the chiropractor. Who was able to crack my back into a point where I can stand upright. For which I am grateful. But tomorrow I must go to work. Sitting work. Which is ok. I will take my heating pad. I also go back for another crack tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to function.....

None of my pain killer pills are helping. So I've resorted to a simple regimine of aspirin to help with inflammation. Why take the narcotics when they don't do anything more than aspirin. (see....I'm being considerate of both my liver and my digestive tract... a little consideration here....some quid pro quo???)

And I'm going away on Friday. Not far, but it will involve a suitcase.

argh.

Daring Randomness

Yesterday I asked a man at work out on a date.

He's kinda cute. I share a desk with him. He takes over my desk when I leave. So I don't spend much time with him.... just the few minutes that it takes to make the desk handoff. Sometimes I spend a few extra minutes bringing him up to speed on a client that SWEARS they will be back "tonight" (loosely defined as "sometimes before April 15") just in case they actually DO return during his shift. I always leave detailed notes...but it gives me an excuse to stand next to him.

Sometimes my arm touches his, even!

I didn't actually ask him out on a date, face to face. I texted the question. But he answered back in the affirmative. So we are going out. TONIGHT!

The kids will have to forage through the leftovers for dinner tonight. Cause Mom and Dad are OUTTA HERE.

....unless we are too wiped out from work and just decide that 12 hours of sleep is the better option.....

Improvements

First noticeable improvement around here: The Boy has caused regular, un-nagged (!!) attention to personal hygiene. I haven't met The Boy yet. But I love him.

Second noticeable improvement: Chores are being done. Phone call to me today: "Hi mom, it's me. Can I play with Kaelin? Cause I did all my chores...." I granted permission and came home to find that yes, indeed, she had done all assigned chores.

Sometime over the weekend someone spiked my kids hot chocolate with Maturity and Responsibility. (as evidenced by the LACK of hot chocolate mugs strewn about in the family room and instead set in the sink. Not quite in the dishwasher but a BIG improvement.)

Thank you. Whoever you are.

(I hope it holds....)