Thursday, September 01, 2005

Damn those tests!

Standardized tests. The bane of everyone's existance....except maybe those who sell them by the gross ton to school districts for a mighty fine price, thankyouverymuch. Ours is called "STAR". An acronym meaning something terribly relevent, I'm sure. (suggestions freely taken, btw)

Last year's results came this week. My children are very very smart. Really. According to the standardized tests, generally speaking, the blow the average kid out of the water. Sucks to be the average kid apparently. Cause my very very smart children don't always bring home very very smart grades.

Emma is 10. She is now in the 5th grade. Since the VERY beginning...back in Miss Rose's preschool... she has endeavored to demonstrate as little knowledge as possible and do the BARE ASS MINIMUM of work. Her grades are reflective of that. But damn if 4th grade didn't suck wind. Big part teacher, goodly amount Emma. As a result, Emma had to go to tutoring twice a week over the summer. She LOVED tutoring. She even went when mom overslept.... it was that cool. She LEARNED STUFF!!!!! She was so stinkin' proud of herself when she got that 1/4 and .25 were the SAME THING!!!!

Which brings us back to STAR testing.

They are broken into "math" and "writing/language". Further broken down by what specifically is being tested.

Under "Fractions/Decimals/Negative Numbers" there was a BIG long line ALL the way over the the right side of the page. Percentage correct? 100%

I showed this to Emma. I said "YOU DO TOO know fractions!" (yes, I was yelling) To which she, in her oh so clever, I am a damn genius way said, "I DO???"


And again, Child Genius can only say "ok". Not too enthusiastically either, I will have you know.

The next morning she handed me a Red Note. Girl Wonder forgot her Reading Log at home. Mind you, I signed the damn thing approximately 10 minutes before we left for school with strict instructions to "put it in your backpack RIGHT NOW".

She's smart. Scary smart. Really....she is. Not only do standardized tests show that.... (she is at least smarter than the average bear by a long shot) but she's just SMART.

Wily. Cunning.

She scares me. She is really too smart for her own good.

But thank God for standardized tests. Every year I get to remind her with an Official School Document that I KNOW she's smart and I am on to her little game.

Tomorrow I am going to duct tape her homework to her head.

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