Saturday, August 12, 2006


The funny thing with perspective is you can't have it without having another viewpoint.

Recently I was in a conversation and like a bolt from the blue it occurred to me. They have no perspective. They have no yin to their yang. They have no light in their dark.

You've had it happen... walking into a building and you think "Oh MY. Is my ass REALLY that wide??" Usually what happens then is your perspective shifts and you realize it is the glass that is wonky and not your ass. Maybe you move and your image changes. Maybe some skinny little thing walks past and HER ass looks huge too. But without that different viewpoint, you would think that your ass doubled since this morning in your mirror.

Unfortunately, it's hard to get another viewpoint. Especially when the "it" is something you are close to. Friends are great for giving another viewpoint. They are outside looking in. Good friends don't hesitate to speak up and offer their different viewpoint.

The party in question during this 'a ha moment' conversation has cultivated isolationism. It served them well. But only for a while. When they ask for input, they get it from those within the circle. Yes men, so to speak. They have so ingrained a sense of us vs. them and demonized the 'them' to the point that loyalty requires no other viewpoint. YES! We LOVE this. Everyone we knows loves this! Except everyone they know doesn't know anything differet either.

To truly thrive as people we need to step back when things are going badly and ask... Do I need a different perspective? When those around you who confirm your view of the world, is shrinking into a tighter and tighter circle... it's time to ask "What has gone wrong?". Asking the tight circle will not give the insight and perspective needed. Ask those who left. Ask those who are joining "them" at an exponantial pace. Walk in the door of a 'them' and see what they are doing. Invite them to your table.

Gaining perspective can be difficult. It can be painful. Sometimes it requires eliminating something near and dear to you. You may find that the one person you thought would lead you to better things is the very person who is leading you into bankruptcy (be that financial, moral or emotional). Sometimes drastic change is needed. Sometimes it isn't the change you thought was needed.

Because sometimes.... it is the mirror at home that is inaccurate, not the one on the street.

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