Daley Thoughts

Waiting For Ophelia

2009-03-24T17:56:00.001-07:00

For my friend Adam....

WAITING FOR OPHELIA TRAILER - watch more funny videos

Ending the year with a bang! (read: finally posting)

2008-12-30T10:34:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Started grad school.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't really make "resolutions". It's more like... a "Let's see if I can keep this going". But things like "I will lose 20 pounds this next year"?? Not so much. (although I'd like to lose more than that if resolutions are wishes and there is a fairy out there granting them...)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not to ME. But people who are close to me, had people die who were close to them. :(

5. What countries did you visit?
Alabama. Texas.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A clean house. More to the point, a clutter-free house.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmmm..... I'm not sure there were any significant single dates this year....

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
See #1. I started grad school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I am a few pounds heavier at the end of the year than I was at the beginning. Clearly the Resolution Fairy doesn't exist.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmmm.... I'm hoping it's the Pilates Reformer that's still in the box that came last week. I gotta clear a space for it. Hopefully I'll use it at least as much as my MacBookPro (which is also a really cool thing I bought this year)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Well.... I think both of the girls' behavior. They are well mannered, considerate and generally pleasant to be around. And since they are both teenagers, I think that merits celebration!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Wall Street.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The care and feeding of the house and the people inside. The IRS gets a mighty large chunk too.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I think the traveling I/We did. Alabama and Texas.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"All Summer Long" - Kid Rock. Probably because of the one evening Emma's friend Brooklyn was with us in the car and the song came on the radio. The four of us started singing along and acting like our usual goofy selves. Brooklyn joined in. Brooklyn became my new BFF! Gotta love a teen who joins in with another family's goofy-ness!!!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? I think more apprehensive is the best descriptor. Job insecurity still looms.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. Gotta get that Reformer out of the box!
c) richer or poorer? Holding steady.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercising. Those size 8 jeans are still mocking me from atop my dresser. I suppose I could put them in a drawer and shut them up....

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting time.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No. Just still am....

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Favorite? Hard to pick a FAVORITE. Big Bang Theory, however, is a new Must See TV.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I endeavor not to hate anyone. But yea.... Sarah Palin can go away now.

24. What was the best book you read?
For FUN? Well.... I DO have a thing for Alex Delaware. He's hot. But our affair ended when grad school began. Jonathan Kellerman sent me a new Alex Delaware novel and it's still in the box, sitting on the stairs.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don't think I have a "great" discovery in 2008. I just keep collecting stuff I like. I did acquire quite a bit of P!nk this year. But that's not a "discovery"... that's just a new album. Although I did discover it is VERY fun to play something on my iPod and surprise my children that I like "that". It is even MORE enjoyable for them to eventually hear their peers play the same music and for them to say "my mom's been listening to that for MONTHS, it's not new....". Crack me up!

26. What did you want and get?
A new job.

27. What did you want and not get?
A job with benefits.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't remember what I saw in the theater this year....

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We went to a Monarchs game. I was 42.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Norm getting a Job with a W-2, taxes withheld, paid vacation and benefits.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Must ask the resident fashion expert.... According to Emma it is: "Younger. Than yourself. Kinda like 20's or 30's." Ok....so there you go. She's the one to know these things.

32. What kept you sane?
My friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Besides George Clooney?? ;) Barak Obama.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh good glory..... How much time do you have? I think it can pretty much be summed up by the fact that I have a countdown to the Presidential Inauguration on my dashboard. We need a regime change like yesterday.

35. Who did you miss?
I don't think I'm missing anyone.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Oh wow. I met a LOT of people this past year. Maybe the biggest surprise would be Rene (cause I don't have enough Renee/Rene named people in my life). I didn't know her at all and now I'd count her as one of my best buds.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
I found this quote by John "The Wizard of Westwood" Wooden:

“Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.”

I think that sums up how I've tried to live my life this year. Don't rest on your laurels. Don't worry about failing. Having the courage to try is what really matters. So I got a real job and I started grad school....

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Count your blessings now before they're all gone"

"What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?"

Election Eve 2008

2008-11-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, November 4, 2008, we will elect a new President. As I sit here on the eve of what appears to be a historical election I am realizing that for the first time I am voting for a candidate who truly inspires me to be a better citizen (and I think I'm a pretty good one to start out... I vote, I volunteer, I don't litter, I teach my children their manners and make them mind them, I obey the laws...only bending minor traffic ones... I donate to charity and my church, I pay my fair share of my taxes...).

I voted for the first time in the Presidential election of 1984. I volunteered on my college campus and I still (and probably always will) enjoy the look on people's faces when I tell them that I was a driver in President Reagan's motorcade during his last campaign stop before election day that year. (I was the driver for White House Press Secretary, Larry Speaks) (Can you IMAGINE college student being given the keys to motorcade cars NOW???) I have voted in every single election since. Every single one.

But never before has a candidate spoken to my heart and to my children's lives.

We are in difficult times. My own family faces an uncertain future. Employment is not secure. We are fortunate that we aren't upside down in our mortgage and our overall debt is manageable. But without a job that can change quickly.

In spite of that I have hope. I watched half of America feel cheated and defeated in 2000. Less than a year later we were grief stricken but we were united. We had hope amidst the destruction. We were a strong and proud nation with a world holding us up in our time of need.

I've watched that erode under the crushing weight of lies and misdirection followed by economic meltdown. Throughout the past 8 years my children have grown into teenagers with the values of their parents, their church and their God. While their leaders have lied and pillaged, they have given their time, talent and treasure to serve others. During this election season they have fought against the injustice of Proposition 8 - realizing that eliminating rights is not a Family Value nor a commandment of their God or their Savior. They know that true salvation lies in embracing all, not in hate. They have realized they can be the voice of the voiceless and that their opinions are as valuable as any other.

They will grow into adulthood under the new President. For the first time in several years, I worry less about the country they will be given. It won't be all sunshine and roses come January 2009. But it is my hope that on inauguration day, the man that takes the oath of office is the one that is looking forward with hope - not the man who cannot leave the past behind and move into a new era.

I wasn't a Kennedy Democrat - that was before my time. But I've head people speak of how he inspired them, gave them hope for the future and promised them a place in that future by "doing what (they) can do for (their) country".

Barack Obama offers that promise to my children.

It is why I have already cast my vote for him. It is why I pray for God's protection on him.

It's what makes me an Obama Democrat

Red Balloons

2008-10-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sometime in the next few days hundreds, if not thousands, of red balloons are going to be released around the world. You may see one float overhead.

They are for Danny. A five year old boy who woke up four days ago throwing up and screaming in pain. By that evening he was in a coma following emergency brain surgery for the tumor on his brain stem. Overnight last night, three children received his organs.

On Monday he was feeling kinda like maybe he had the flu. On Friday his parents are making funeral arrangements.

I cannot imagine.

Our wonderful worldwide ScrapShare community will be releasing red balloons for Danny. Those who are even remotely close enough, are dropping everything to be at the services on behalf of us all. Cards are being sent with gift cards for groceries and other essentials so Danny's dad can take plenty of time off work to be with his wife and daughter and try to find a new normal.

One of our SS children is gone. Our hearts break.

Happiness Is....

2008-08-28T08:45:00.001-07:00

....watching our daughters walk into school together.

Kait is a Senior this year. Emma is in 8th grade and goes to the middle school that shares a campus with the high school. (our district does it this way for a multitude of reasons) Emma's first period class is at the high school.

Kait could be annoyed with the idea that her sister is hanging around. She could make her walk five steps behind. She could ignore her. She could tell her to go away. But she does not. Emma's first period class in 7th grade was at the high school too. Emma was invited to hang out with Kait and her friends before school. It was fine with Kait's friends because it was fine with Kait.

I know so many families with siblings constantly at each other's throats. They can't even imagine a world where their children would spend time together voluntarily.

Ours do.

It makes me happy.

Another PSA

2008-06-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday, I read PostSecrets. This was there today. I thought it merited a plug here.

PSA

2008-06-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Just a few thoughts.....

If you decide to enter, say, a photography contest.... be aware of the parameters. If they are asking for "Animals" a Tiger Lily doesn't count. If they are asking for "Vegetables", grapes should not be submitted. Get a carrot and take a photo. If they want "Flowers", I can't submit my photo of moss on a tree. I could do that only if the catagory was "Plants".

If they are asking for "Flowers", your daughter Lilly doesn't count.

Shamelessly pimpin' your kid in the hopes to get the "awww vote"? Shame on you.

Only include photos of icky bugs if the contest subject IS "Icky Bugs". Butterflies and possibly caterpillars can be considered "Non-Icky Bugs" but be careful here.

Background counts. Pay. Attention. to what is going on in the background.

Dates don't count. PhotoShop or crop it out. Digital dates on the front of a photo is great to remember when you took the photo of the baby. They distract in a contest.

Lighting is important. Too much and too little are equally bad. Back lighting? Also bad. Unless you are INTENTIONALLY using it for effect.

If you are required to title your photo and the title you come up with is "Bug on Flower" and the subject is supposed to be "Flowers", your subject is the bug. You said so yourself.

And finally...... if you enter a PHOTO contest...... F.O.C.U.S.

I'm back

2008-04-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

I was gone. Yea.... I know.... it's hard to tell with my blogging frequency. Or lack thereof....

But here's where I've been.

NOLA

2008-04-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this today because tomorrow is going to be packed with last minute getting ready-ness.

We leave Tuesday morning. Our flight is at 6:20am. We have a three hour layover at LAX which is rather irritating cause that could have been valuable sleeping time. Although I'm hoping with THREE hours, United can get our bags from one plane to the next without a problem.

There are 9 of us and each of us is taking 2 bags. That's a lot of suitcases to get where they need to go. They have our bedding and tools inside, so we need them to travel WITH us.

We have been told that we will be installing drywall. We were told months ago that we would be working in the Lower Ninth Ward. We are staying at a Volunteer Center in the French Quarter which is going to be interesting. Jazz Fest starts while we are there so it's going to be quite busy in the French Quarter.

We will be meeting a friend while we are there. Kurt has been a friend of EGUMC for 3 years now and he happens to be in town, preaching at the Catholic church next Saturday night. So us Methodists are going to the Catholic church to hear our friend, an ordained Methodist pastor, preach and then we are, like all good Methodists, going out to dinner. Kurt has pulled the required strings to get a table for 9 at Emeril's during Jazz Fest for us too. Emma is a little scared of the menu and has decided she'll have the pork chops. I'm considering the Rib Eye. The menu says it's Harris Ranch beef. Harris Ranch is just down the road a piece from us... I know it's good! ;) Is it wrong to go all the way to New Orleans and then have California beef? Yea... that's what I figured. I'll go with something else! Of course, I'm the one that bought wine made just down the river from us when I was in Texas.... LOL!

We are taking a Day of Rest on Sunday and will get in some jazz and see some sights. We'll won't see New Orleans as it was. It may never be as it was again. But since we are there, we might as well see how it is and be tourists and put some California dollars into the local economy. Something that is as important as rebuilding. Folks need to make a living there.

It's going to be an adventure. Of this we are positive. We are looking forward to going and once I get everything packed, I'll look forward to it even more!

Keep a good thought for us. Safe travels. Safe working. We will be working with power tools, and we want to return with all appendages we left with. And personal safety. New Orleans has lost most of all the law and order it had. We'll be smart.... but still... ya know?

Reality Check

2008-04-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today, The Boy wasn't at school before school. He wasn't seen passing between classes. He wasn't in French class (with The Best Friend). He didn't answer his cell phone after school.

Today was "Every Fifteen Minutes".

Today, every 15 minutes the bell sounded throughout the high school campus and sounded like a heart beat....followed by the sound of a flatline. Some classes were then visited by a police officer who read the obituary of a classmate who wouldn't be coming back. Then the officer placed a rose on the desk of the missing student.

Kait was a MESS. The Boy wasn't in school. With every passing moment when she SHOULD have seen him and he wasn't there, she got more frantic. By the end of the day when he didn't answer his phone, Kait and The Best Friend were hysterical. And The Best Friend isn't too keen on The Boy most days...

When he showed up at the Science Olympiad meeting after school, Kait hugged him tight. Then slugged him.

He was oblivious.

There was no warning about this event. A day is chosen and students are asked to stay home for the day. The Boy was not one of them. But "popular and visible Seniors" are the ones that are asked and The Boy fits that description. He just chose to take a day to catch up on homework or something. Serendipity.

Telling us about her day sent Kaitlyn back into tears. Yesterday she knew a friend could die. Yesterday she knew that drunk drivers kill people. Today she felt it. She KNEW The Boy was no doubt just fine. He simply had been chosen to be the victim. But she FELT his absence. His "death" was felt to her core. The sobs were real sobs.

We talked about why she doesn't have her license yet. Why it is that we are so strict about her showing personal responsibility. She 'knew'. Ok.... so yea.. driving...responsibility... yada yada yada. But the idea of being DEAD. Not here kind of dead. Or....worse... killing a friend. Having to face the parents of The Boy or The Best Friend then live with the fact that she killed her best friend.... she FELT it today.

Reality check today.
Reality check tomorrow. Tomorrow it continues.

Prom is Saturday.

Today, in near tears, her English teacher told her class that if anyone needed a ride home on Saturday, call her. She'll be there, but call her. She wants them all back on Monday morning.

Reality check.

Compare and Contrast

2008-03-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, these were the easiest essays I was assigned in English class. Compare and Contrast..... and a topic was given. I rocked at those. I was always good at seeing the similarities between two givens. I could find all sorts of similarities between, say, Jay Gatsby and Randall Patrick McMurphy.

Maybe it was all those C&C essays I did for Mr. O'Brien in 11th and 12th grade that trained my brain to automatically go to compare and contrast when looking at situations. Maybe I did well in Mr. O'Brien's class because that's the way I naturally think. It's a chicken and egg thing, I suppose.

I found myself doing the C&C thing today. I've been watching two different entities struggle with where they are and where they want to be in the future as of late. Both have clearly defined where they want to be in the future.... it's the getting there that has them vexed.

But I am finding it interesting to watch how they differ in their approach. One is insisting on short term gain in the hopes it will result in long term gain as well. The other is willing to sacrifice the short term in the hope it will result in long term gain.

I have more faith in the latter.

Short term gain keeps the wheels turning. It keeps the cash flowing and the masses motivated. We are, after all, an instant gratification culture. Unfortunately, when we expend all you have in the 'right now', you are left with no energy for later. Marathon runners know they cannot start out at a sprint. They must pace themselves. Start out slower in the beginning and have enough to sprint at the end.

But short term losses can throttle the cash flow and is demoralizing to the masses. It's difficult to keep on keeping on when it seems that nothing is working. In many ways, it takes more energy to keep trudging through during the down times. It would be like me trying to run a marathon. I'd be expending a lot of energy just to go slowly but eventually I know I would get to the finish line.

It is very very difficult to take the latter path. You face hostile faces instead of happy enthusiastic faces. It takes clearly defined leadership. It takes leadership with a thick skin to suffer the slings and arrows that comes with the short term losses. It also takes leadership who is willing to say "we are sacrificing today for a successful tomorrow". When the "team" (whoever and however that is defined) knows that the hard work that is being done now without reward will eventually result in the job being easier and with greater reward, they are more likely to suck it up and deal. They aren't going to be looking to bail out at the first opportunity. They aren't as grumbly and discontented.

Thus, the difference in the two entities. One has leadership and the other is simply stumbling through and throwing everything out there to see what works. Leadership appears to be done both with no regard to how this will affect the 'team' in the long term and by opinion poll. Whoops, everyone thinks this is a bad idea....nevermind. "Oh. You built a strategy around our idea? Too bad for you. Moving on...... "

It seems so very obvious, but leaders lead. They aren't leaders simply because they showed up that day first. They are chosen because they have the skills it takes TO lead. Not everyone can. Not everyone should. And that's ok. Leaders need people to follow them.

Both entities are facing some tough times right now. Morale is low. They are struggling. But clearly one has a plan, a clearly defined plan, for the future. The other is just hoping something will work.

I just find it interesting to observe.

Ghosted

2008-03-23T22:16:00.001-07:00

We knew we were on borrowed time. Many of our neighbors long ago gave up and just replaced the stoves that came with our houses. Seems Whirlpool had a bum batch of stoves back in the day.

Last year we fixed it.

This year we decided we'd just skip the multiple repairs thing and get a new one.

We found out that the oven had given up the ghost on Wednesday night. Emma had to make a "French meal" for French class. She chose quiche. Emma, being heat phobic, was tortured at the thought of putting the quiche into the oven. If she could have swathed herself in asbestos, she would have. VERY carefully and with as much distance as she could possibly muster, she set the quiche on the very edge of the pulled out oven rack. I told her to put it into the middle. She was horror stricken. It's HOT!!!

Fed up I went to do the task for her and show her it was FINE.

Well... yea.... she wasn't gonna get burned from that oven, that was for sure. Stone cold.

We pressed the fancy schmancy toaster oven into service and baked the quiches one at a time (there were two).

I declared the oven broken.

The Mr. futzed with screwdrivers, matches and much turning on of the gas. After which he very confidently declared that "something is wrong".

Thank God I have him around. I would have come to that conclusion without trying to blow up the house. This, apparently, is a critical step.

New stove/oven has been ordered.

Easter morning's baked eggs? Didn't have 'em. Easter dinner's ham? Still in the fridge. Although Jean did say we could go down to the shop and cook it there (where we bought the new stove). Instead we kluged the baked eggs together in a single dish that would fit into the toaster oven and had that for dinner. Our first new stove meal will be the ham. Which is fine... cause it still feels too early for Easter.

Which is why it never occurred to me to look for hot cross buns at the store. Which means I missed them completely this year.

Oh well. My patookus doesn't need anything else to work off at the gym.

New stove.... five burners, double oven from Valley Oak Home Appliance Center. It's all good..... inconvenient, but good.

Sang

2008-03-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

I auditioned.

...and like everyone else was told they would "call next week".

It went ok. Not great. Not horrible. I suppose it really depends on how great and how horrible the others were......

Blogger Annoyance

2008-03-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

Yea... I know... it looks wrong.

I had to upgrade. Which means I had to revert to a stock layout. Why? Because I upgraded to be able to customize my blog.

Yea...makes no sense to me either.

I gotta find my photo again.

ARGH.

Doubtful it will happen today.....

Nerves

2008-03-07T14:57:00.000-08:00

Or is that just "nerve"????

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

That's really not a lot of words.

I can remember them all.... right?

In the right order.....right?

WITH the right notes.... IN the right places..... right?

What WAS I thinking when I signed up to audition to sing at a River Cats game???

Two weeks..... I have two weeks to get my nerves and my voice into shape......

Fate

2008-03-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

So about a decade ago, I was surfing the internets looking for other consultants from That Scrapbooking Company and came upon The Site That Was. I logged in and posted and maybe a year-ish later this FREAK of a woman started posting as well. She was very clearly a freak because she was a Jr. High math teacher (first clue) and also worked with kids in theater. WAY too much contact with Other People's Children in my book.

Oh. And she LIKED it.

Clearly, not my kind of people.

But something clicked anyway. She lived on the other side of the country doing her freaky math and kid stuff. So all was cool. Not like she was gonna ask me to volunteer or join her in any of that.

In 2001, That Scrapbooking Company had their annual conference in Reno. *I* can go to Reno! No airfare for THAT. We had to be out of our house for a week so the builder could (try to) fix the problem with the flooring. The Mr. and children stayed with the Mother-in-Law while I went to the conference. Elaine... who I wasn't calling "that freaky woman" anymore.... was scheduled to go to the first round of the conference. She stayed a couple extra days so she could meet up with a bunch of us from The Site That Was. She said she really wanted to meet me & Marfy. The Mr. came to dinner with us, so she got to meet him too.

Time passes and we become better friends. More time passes and events happen that pull us and others together as a team. The Site That Was evaporates (cause I'm gonna be nice about it in this post) and the Mr. and I get to know Elaine and HER Mr. better.

We find ourselves spending Saturday nights in Instant Message conferences....all four of us. We would be sitting in one living room or another if we lived in the same town. But we don't. We live on opposite sides of the country. So.... Instant Message it is. Through the miracle of technology we CAN all see each other.... but it doesn't always work right and is more of a pain in the patookus, so we generally don't even bother. Although we haven't tried that since we've all been Mac enabled.... hmmm.....

Anyway..... I spent last week in Alabama with Elaine and Jerry. My 'scandalous' version of this story is that I flew across the country to a city I've never been to, to be met at the airport by a man I have never met. Which is only true in the "never met face to face" sense. I think we know each other pretty well..... and he wasn't carrying an axe, so I was fairly confident he wasn't an axe murderer. ;) So I went ahead and got in the car with him.

It's always dicey.... meeting someone you only know from a message board. You really don't REALLY know them. Since Reno, I have spent time with Elaine... in Texas. I drove all over central Texas sitting next to her in a big white van and it is STILL FUNNY, nearly four years later. I've talked on the phone with Jer.... innumerable lines of Instant Messages between us. We have laughed, commiserated, disagreed over the years. But a week in their house is a test. Pretty much doesn't matter HOW you know someone.... a week is a TEST.

I am so very glad I went. I hope they can visit us now. They have smaller children who are far less self sufficient than we do. So it may be several years before that happens. Although Helen DID say she was going to visit me when she is "six or maybe sixteen". Since six is this summer, I'm guessing sixteen is more likely.

But we are pretty much firm in our plan to send Emma to Miss Elaine's Math Camp Intensive this summer. In exchange for Emma playing with (and thus keeping them out of Mommy's hair) and babysitting (in the evenings so grown up time away from the house can be had) the Young Children, Miss Elaine is going to undo the damage done by this year's Algebra (supposed) teacher. Emma will also get to draw and play dress up with Miss Helen who has the same flair for fashion as Emma does. heh.... Emma will tutor Helen!

Fate is funny. A random spot on the internet, a chance connection.... Two families who would never have met otherwise have become very good friends. All four of us. It is rare that no matter what combination of the four, we can all comfortably get along, talk, hang out.... We have forged individual friendships. The men aren't friends just because they are the husbands and well, they might as well get along. Jerry and I spent two hours in the car talking and laughing as much as Elaine and I did on the return trip. I am sure Elaine and Normy could do the same.... I think they chat nearly every morning since Normy is up before God and it's later in the day where Elaine is and she's online. No one is weird about it. Nothing uncomfortable or awkward -()-....

It's cool. Very very cool.

.....and now.... I think I need to go jam. And that, for the record, is all Jerry's fault.

Still Californian

2008-01-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

Yea... I heard ya. We are the cause of all the country's problems. yada yada yada.

This is why we don't care. Y'all are just grumpy about the snow.

December 26, 2007
Balboa Island, Newport Beach
CALIFORNIA

Open Letter

2007-12-28T13:17:00.000-08:00

To That Person:

Do you ever get tired of making the same derogatory comments every. single. time.?? Doesn't it ever get old?

Do you think you are changing opinions? Do you think it's going to make a hill of beans of difference?

Try just saying it without inserting your opinion just once. We all know where you stand. Good grief, you've hit us over the head for years with it. We get it. Truly. We mostly get that you are a colossol bore, but that's really not the point. The point is that your incessent put downs have made your good points invisible. You have good information. If you could manage to say it without the insults you wouldn't be dismissed as a crackpot.

We get it. We understand your point of view. But like most blowhards, you are more bluster than substance. I'm sure you don't want to be seen as a blowhard.... but you are. You sound like the teacher from The Peanuts specials.... wah, wah, wah wah wah.

You should go out to lunch with that Other Person. She's an expert too. You know this. We all do. Because she tells us every. time. she speaks. She'd probably annoy the daylights out of you too. But maybe the two of you can solve the world's problems. At the very least, you won't be annoying the rest of us while y'all are at lunch.

Overheard....

2007-12-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

This was originally posted on ScrapShare. At the time, this was a testy conversation. After I wrote it out, it was funny. When I read it to Norm, he laughed and laughed. Neither one of us thought it was at. all. funny at the time. Not one bit..... So that business about "we'll look back on this and laugh"? 'Tis true.

I kept talking to the Mr. about Stacy Peterson. He was talking about it back with me. I thought we were having a conversation. (I am often mistaken on this point.)

One day I said something along the lines of "cause he's a cop".

Who's a cop?

Drew Peterson.

Who's Drew Peterson?

Uh.... Stacy Peterson's husband.

Who's that?

Stacy Peterson. REMEMBER? She was a customer of someone from SS....? Any of this familiar?

I remember that conversation. But what does that have to do with Stacy Peterson?

(and people wonder why my head hurts all the time.....)

Stacy Peterson is the customer of someone on SS and now she's missing and her cop husband, Drew, is Suspect Number One.

Yes. I. remember. the. conversation. But what does that have to do with Stacy Peterson??

I'm out of English words to explain this anymore.

1.....2.....3....4....5.....

Oh. STACY Peterson.

I thought you were talking about Laci Peterson.

She's not missing.

Dressed

2007-12-04T13:13:00.000-08:00

We like to get dressed up. Tux. Formal. The whole nine yards. Our only regret is we don't get to do it more often. We look forward to the Scott's annual Christmas party so we can put on the Really Grown Up Clothes (the food and company is all top notch too!)

So Emma has a blog......

2007-11-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

One day, probably about five years ago or so, she lets out this heavy sigh and says:

It's hard to be me!

I stifled the big "BWAHAHAHA!" that wanted to burst forth and managed to say "Why is that Em?". I had my theories, but I thought it would be worthy to hear her say it.

I have SO many wonders in my head!!

It struck me that she does indeed have many wonders in her head. Not a day passes that she doesn't say "I wonder....". These are not generally Googlable wonders. We cannot research them and come up with a precise answer. They are wonders such as:

I wonder who decided to call it "grass" and not something else like "carrots".

I wonder who chose the word "pink" for that color.

They make my head hurt, these wonders.....

So now, she has a blog of her very own to document her multitude of wonders.....

Crack me up.... but not surprised.....

2007-10-23T17:16:00.001-07:00

Orange County

You're rich, pretty, and living a charmed life. (Or you seriously wish you were.)
From Disneyland to Laguna Beach, you're all about living the California dream life.
Just make sure to marry rich - so you don't have to work for it!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

No surprises here....

2007-10-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

Brain Type Test - Free Results

Are You Left-Brained or Right-Brained?

Although one side of the brain is generally dominant over the other, we should strive to utilize both halves. A balanced brain makes a balanced person - combining sequential thinking with a holistic approach, or linear thinking with intuition, enables us to fully comprehend issues and solve problems. Left-brainers can dramatically improve their problem solving abilities by learning to "follow their gut," while right-brainers can improve the execution of their creative efforts.

Realizing your dominant half is the first step in becoming balance-brained.

Your percentage score for the left brain is 55%.
Your percentage score for the right brain is 45%.

You are more left-brained than right-brained. Your left brain controls the right side of your body. In addition to being known as left-brained, you are also known as a critical thinker who uses logic and sense to collect information. You are able to retain this information through the use of numbers, words, and symbols. You usually only see parts of the "whole" picture, but this is what guides you step-by-step in a logical manner to your conclusion. Concise words, numerical and written formulas and technological systems are often forms of expression for you. Some occupations usually held by a left-brained person include a lab scientist, banker, judge, lawyer, mathematician, librarian, and skating judge.

Your left brain/right brain percentage was calculated by combining the individual scores of each half's sub-categories. They are as follows:

Left Brain

Linear
Sequential
Symbolic
Logical
Verbal
Reality-based

Right Brain

Holistic
Random
Concrete
Intuitive
Nonverbal
Fantasy-oriented

I just have to wonder if I need any special expertise to be a "skating judge".... ya know?

Have You Seen Her?

2007-10-17T14:13:00.001-07:00

(I think that's a registered trademark or something, but I don't know how to get that "R" in a circle thingy....)

Today, the WNBA announced an expansion team in Atlanta. This brings the total WNBA teams to 14.

Everything that annoys you about professional sports? The egotistical players, the high salaries... all that? It's not there in the WNBA. Salary parity is a long way off... these women play as hard (and it is a physical game) and do so year round (playing in Europe in the off season). But it means tickets are affordable and you can take the whole family.

We are season ticket holders for the Sacramento Monarchs and win or lose, we have enjoyed every game. We can take our girls and while they still aren't big basketball fans, they are Monarchs fans.

If you live in the Atlanta area.... get your First Season Season Tickets. No. It isn't the same as the NBA. In some ways....it's better.

Blogthings Day

2007-10-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct.

It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your Movie Buff Quotient: 52%

You are well on your way to becoming a movie buff.
You've seen many of the great films, and you have even probably developed an expertise in a few genres.

Are You a Movie Buff?

You Are 80% "Average American"

You are average because you live within three miles of McDonalds.

You are not average since you have (at least) a college degree.

How "Average American" Are You?

You Are 5: The Investigator

You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.

Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world.

At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid.

Your Fixation: Greed

Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent

Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed

Other Number 5's: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.

What Number Are You?

For Thought

2007-10-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

This photo album was found by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Here is the press release regarding the album, from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum today unveiled an important new addition to its collection—a personal photo album containing 116 pictures taken between May and December 1944 chronicling the life of SS officers and other officials at the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp. The rare images capture SS guards and Nazi officials relaxing and enjoying time off—hunting, singing, trimming Christmas trees, and more—all while Jews were being murdered at rates as fast as anytime during the Holocaust. The album was created and owned by Karl Höcker, an adjunct to camp Kommandant Richard Baer.

“It’s hard to fathom the kind of people who ran these camps and one always struggles to understand who they were and how they saw themselves,” says Museum Director Sara J. Bloomfield. “These unique photographs vividly illustrate the contented world they enjoyed while overseeing a world of unimaginable suffering. They offer an important perspective on the psychology of those perpetrating genocide.”

The 116 new images represent a significant increase in the number of known pre-liberation images of Auschwitz-Birkenau. Previously, only about 320 images existed of the camp before it was liberated by the Soviet army on January 27, 1945. (This figure does not include photographs of prisoners as they were processed into the camp for forced labor.)

The album complements the only other known collection of photographs taken at Auschwitz, published as the “Auschwitz Album” in 1980. Those images specifically depict the arrival of Hungarian Jews at the camp in late May 1944, and the selection process that the SS imposed on them. Some of the images contained in the new album were taken just days later. In contrast to documenting mass murder, they focus on the daily lives and recreational pursuits of Nazi officials, and no prisoner appears in any of the images.

Images in the new album include:

Photographs of Dr. Josef Mengele in uniform on the camp grounds; some of the only known photographs of his tenure at Auschwitz-Birkenau
A funeral for Nazi officers most likely killed in the accidental December 26, 1944, American bombing of the camp
A sing-along featuring an accordion player and approximately 70 SS men, including Höcker; Dr. Josef Mengele; Birkenau Kommandant Josef Kramer; former Auschwitz Kommandant Rudolf Höss, who was brought back to oversee the murder of Hungarian Jews; and Otto Moll, the gas chamber supervisor at Auschwitz-Birkenau
Höcker trimming Christmas trees in December 1944, weeks before the Red Army would overrun the camp
Female SS auxiliaries eating blueberries and then mockingly crying and posing with empty bowls turned upside down when they are gone
Numerous hunting trips and portraits of Höcker’s favorite hunting dog

Remarkably, many of the album’s pictures were taken when the camp’s gas chambers and crematoria were operating at and above capacity as Hungarian Jews were arriving and being murdered.

“The Holocaust is recent history, and much more remains to be learned,” says Teresa Swiebocka of the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum. “We know there are many more hidden collections like this. They need to be found and preserved to help transmit the memory of the Holocaust to future generations. Some of these new, unique images will enhance our new permanent exhibition.”

An online exhibition of the collection can be found on the Museum’s Web site at www.ushmm.org.

How the Museum Received the Auschwitz SS Album

In December 2006, a retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel and former member of the Counter Intelligence Corps (CIC) wrote to the Museum archives. As one of its many tasks as a military intelligence agency, the CIC conducted investigations of Nazi perpetrators for U.S. prosecutors in the Judge Advocate General’s Office after World War II. While stationed in Germany in 1946, this officer found a photograph album in an abandoned apartment in Frankfurt and took it home with him. In 2007, he donated the album to the Museum, but wanted his donation to remain anonymous.

The Fate of Karl Höcker and His Photograph Album

After the Germans evacuated Auschwitz-Birkenau in mid-January 1945, Höcker accompanied Baer to command Dora-Mittelbau. He fled that camp before it was captured by the Allies and was eventually captured by the British. Not recognizing him, the British released him in 1946 and he reentered civilian life as a banker. Not until the Eichmann trial of 1961 did anyone attempt to locate him. In 1963, he finally faced charges at the Frankfurt Auschwitz Trial. Baer was also a defendant at the trial, but died of natural causes while in custody.

During the final year of the Holocaust, Höcker was stationed at Auschwitz I, a labor camp. Although witnesses, including other Nazi officials, testified that he would have been aware of the gassing operations and was an administrator of the killing operations at Birkenau, a few kilometers away, prosecutors could not produce a witness or any evidence directly linking him to the killings there. Höcker claimed that he was ignorant of these activities. Yet, many pictures in his photo album show him socializing with Höss, Mengele, Moll, and others intimately involved with the killing process. It strains credulity to suggest he would have been unaware of their crimes.

Höcker was sentenced to seven years in prison, but time served was deducted and he was released on parole in 1970. He returned to his banking job, and he died in 2000 at age 88 in Germany.

A living memorial to the Holocaust, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum was created to inspire leaders and citizens to confront hatred, prevent genocide, promote human dignity and strengthen democracy. Federal support guarantees the Museum’s permanence, and donors nationwide make possible its educational activities and global outreach. For more information, visit www.ushmm.org.

Mrs. Hughes

2007-09-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Amy's mom.

Amy is a stitch. THAT apple didn't fall far from the tree......

Mrs. Hughes.

btw.... there are other acts after her. I make no promises about THOSE.

Senior Moments

2007-08-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

1. Who was your best friend?
Jennifer
2. Did you play any sports?
No
3. What kind of car did you drive?
1972 Blue Chevy Impala
4. It’s Friday night. Where were you?
Football game
5. Were you a party animal?
No
6. Were you considered a flirt?
I don't think so. Maybe....
7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir?
Yes, yes and yes.
8. Were you a nerd?
No
9. Were you ever suspended or expelled?
No
10. Can you sing the fight song?
No fight song. But I can sing the Alma Mater. Probably could play it on my flute even.
11. Who was your favorite teacher?
Then? George. Now? Mr. O'Brien.
12. What was your school mascot?
The Knight
13. Did you go to the Prom?
No
14. If you could go back, would you?
Nah.....
15. What do you remember most about graduation?
We had first graduation and it was hot.
16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day?
We didn't have Senior Skip Day. We had Senior Munches. We all skipped on an officially sanctioned day with an activity. Knotts Berry Farm and someplace else. Can't remember now.
17. Did you have a job your senior year?
Summer after I worked at Disneyland and Woodward's Ace Hardware
18. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Quad and outside the band room
19. Have you gained weight since then?
Uh.... YEA.
20. What did you do after high school?
Went to college.

HP7

2007-07-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

The media blackout has been lifted.

All who care to read, have read.

We can discuss freely now.

We mourn the passing of.... the series. We have all enjoyed the books. We would queue up once again if another is written.

We look forward to the movies.

FYI to Warner Bros. We would gladly pay double if you doubled the length of the last movie. Make a "director's cut". Get it all in. We'll pay. We all would. We stood in line late into the night and bought over 8 million books in under 24 hours. We'd pay. Really.

Basketball Fun - Midwest Version

2007-07-08T22:40:00.001-07:00

The children went off to Camp Aunt Sharon Part Deux.

So we decided to go to a Monarchs game. Which really isn't all that unusual for us. Except this one wasn't exactly at Arco Arena.

It was in Minneapolis. Against the Lynx.

The Target Center is the Lynx's home court. Except Prince was having a concert the next night and Friday was needed for set up. So the game was shuffled off to Williams Arena at The University of Minnesota. Which was built in 1928 before Central Air Conditioning was invented. Holy cow, it was hot.

But we had GREAT seats! We ordered "behind the Visitor's bench". This is what we got:

Most excellent position behind the bench. We talked to Koz and Krista before the game. (and fans listening at home heard there were Season Ticket holders in the arena! US!) We kept up the chatter. We cheered when everyone else was quiet. We never felt the need to cheer when everyone else did. Sometimes all you heard was the two of us. Towards the end of the game we talked a bit with Linda Frohlich and Kristin Haynie. Kristin asked us where we were from and couldn't believe it when we said "Elk Grove". Surely she was expecting something a little bit more Minnesotan.

It was a hot game. Both teams had to fight the heat. We were hot sitting. I can only imagine how it was running up and down the court.

The court is raised. We were worried someone might go flying off the edge. No one did.

Every season ticket holder should road trip. Sure... it would be easy to go to LA for a game. About as easy to go to Seattle. But going someplace unexpected like Minneapolis gives you a very different perspective. At first we were a bit disappointed that the game had been moved. But we really enjoyed how close we were to the action. Our Row C seats are going to seem like they're in the nose bleeders now!

Monarchs 85
Lynx 80

Tahoe - Summer 2007

2007-07-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

It was almost anti-climatic.

We came down into the Tahoe basin to see clear blue water and clear blue sky.

Fire? Smoke? Not that we could see.

If you look very carefully you can see the burn area.

So we just went sailing....

Basketball Fun

2007-07-08T22:12:00.001-07:00

So Kaitlyn went off to be a Counselor-In-Training at Camp Alive Now! and we had an extra ticket to the Monarchs game on June 23 (against the Shock). Of course Emma wanted to invite Kaelin. And of course we did. Because they are BFF's!!!!

We ate dinner at the Skyline Restaurant like we often do. We had barely sat our behinds down in our seats when Emma and Kaelin were asked to participate in the ball exchange before the game. Of COURSE they do!

Kim Smith handed a ball to Kaelin. Linda Frolich handed a ball to Emma. They were THRILLED. The balls were not autographed. I think it would be VERY COOL if the players autographed the balls before they handed them out. But they don't. Nor does getting a ball and t-shirt get you into the autograph line after the game. But Dad was the hero of the night and scored two of the coveted autograph tickets. They waited in line and got their autographs.

Two team favorites. DeMaya Walker and Yolanda Griffith were the designated autographers of the evening.

They were THRILLED!

On Thinking

2007-07-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not naming names....

I have come under criticism for accusing people of "drinking the Kool-Aid". The criticism comes, obviously, from those who, in my estimation, are swimming in the stuff.

As I was sitting in a lovely first class seat on a flight home I mused about the concept. The origins of the phrase. Why it is used. Ultimately, I mused on why people are so willing to consume what is given to them without thinking if it is the best for them or not.

Maybe it's in religion. I can't begin to count the number of times I've been told that "the Bible does/doesn't say that". Of course it leaves me wondering what Bible those folks are reading. I find it ironic that some of the best Bible scholars I know are Atheists. They know the Bible. The strict Bible Literalists all too often (although not always) cite what they've been told from the pulpit. Their pastor knows more than they do and so they trust in what he (it's always "he") tells them. They do little if any independent study. They don't do any independent thinking on what is being preached.

Maybe it's in politics. We all know how I feel about the current administration. But it still boggles my mind that the President can loudly proclaim "Mission Accomplished" in 2003 and there are people who don't see the problem with us still being "in the mission" FOUR years later with no end in sight. How can they reconcile these two contradictory messages? Alone. Forget the rest of the bull.... He said we were done. Why are we still there? If I pose the question "was he lying then or lying now?", well... that's just unpatriotic (still) and unsupportive of the troops. But whatever is said by The Government is believed without question.

Maybe it's at work. All signs point to fiscal problems that could very well bankrupt the company. Enron is the poster child for this. Warning signs ignored. Whistleblowers punished. But I'm watching some dots being connected at a couple of different companies. (not naming names....) I see their PR problems. Do they? Maybe they do. Maybe they are ok with it. Maybe they don't. I see decisions that were bad decisions two years ago coming back to haunt them. I see daily decisions being made that portends a really expensive implosion. I also see those same people who have been told "Danger Will Robinson" feeling (and very possibly truly being) completely blindsided when it's above the fold news. No one told us. How did this happen? What went wrong?

It makes me crazy.

I have a hard time believing that I have some sort of special power to see around the corner, to connect the dots and see the Big Picture. I don't actually possess a crystal ball.

My mother never let us have Kool-Aid. Maybe that's it? I don't know. I don't actually enjoy being right. At least not all the time. If I'm right about some of the situations I see brewing, it's not going to be fun being right. It's going to be sad.

I just don't understand the unwillingness to think for oneself even when (and maybe especially when) authority speaks.

But for now... I'm just handing out the Kool-Aid.

Low Friends in High Places

2007-07-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yea.... I'm not really surprised.

I don't think W would know The Right Thing if it bit him in the ass.

So OF COURSE he commutes Scooter Libby's sentence.

For the record... Not a single West Wing staffer was ever sentenced to prison in the Clinton White House.

It must be nice to be King.

Sadly, no one elected him King.

Could be argued whether or not he was elected to anything, of course.

Idiot.

Hopefully the Democrats don't squander this gift....

Right vs. Left

2007-07-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

Brains. Not politics.

And I'm not even sure if it's a left/right brain thing....

Sometimes someone will say something or I will observe something and the Big Picture will be quickly clear to me. They'll draw a picture, metaphorically or allegorically, and I know what they mean.

I, generally speaking, hang out with like minded people.

Sometimes I'll encounter someone for whom that is a completely foreign concept. Not just in one instance, but repeatedly. They obviously don't see the world the same way as I do.

Today at the grocery store something similar happened. Several of us (myself, the checker and another customer) were joking around using irony and another person could not see the humor. He insisted on the literal interpretation of what we were saying. And it. was. not. funny.

I consider myself a logical, connect the dots type of person. But irony is one of my best friends. I use metaphors and allegories to explain a point. This gets me in trouble a lot.

We were not talking about that!
No....that's a metaphor. It's an EXAMPLE.
But what does it have to do with what we are talking about?
It's a metaphor for what we are talking about. It's something similar. An illustration of my point using a different set of circumstances.
I'm lost. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Apparently.

Irony is often mistaken for sarcasm. Don't get me wrong. I'm all about the sarcasm. But simply pointing out the irony of a situation does not sarcasm make.

It seems that one must be wired to get irony, metaphors and allegories. Some folks can't see the gaps. They can't make the leap and see the connections.

It makes conversation difficult because they are like different languages. Quite frustrating too.

huh

2007-07-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

Last night someone asked my 11 and 15 year old daughters if I was their sister.

They were aghast.

*I* am amused.

The Mr. is wondering if they thought he was my father....

Nearly 14 Months

2007-06-27T22:00:00.001-07:00

It's been well over a year since I wrote this blog entry about The Bird.

I remembered what I wrote several weeks ago. Several weeks ago when I realized there was no tapping/attacking at our window.

It was strange. I saw a blue bird out in the yard. But I knew it was not OUR blue bird. How can I tell that? It's a bird. It's blue. Nothing very distinctive one bird from the next....

Our pesky bird friend did not return this year.

I enjoy the peace.

I mourn his passing.

A Year

2007-06-26T23:12:00.003-07:00

A year ago this next weekend, I took the photo above from Zephyr Cove on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe.

It breaks my heart to think of that view today.

My heart breaks for those who have lost their homes.

My heart breaks for my beloved Lake Tahoe.

Pray for the firefighters. Pray for the relief workers. Pray for those who have lost everything. Pray for the politicians who must find a way to balance the environment and the desire to rebuild. Pray for sanity in a fire protection plan for the entire Sierra.

I will try to take that photo again..... it will be years before it is the same.

Basketball and Sorority Teas; A Comparison

2007-06-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

There are many clues that will lead you to determine whether you are at a professional basketball game or a sorority tea party.

Let us review:

There is more sweat at a basketball game. Raw, unadulterated sweat. The kind that comes from physical exertion. Not perspiration. Not a "glow". Sweat.

Ten men or women are running back and forth in a basketball game. They have a round orange ball. They throw the ball around. Sometimes they put it into a metal hoop with a net looking thing hanging down. This is called "the basket".

There is a lot of yelling at a basketball game. Lots. Not polite applause... raucous yelling and cheering.

The entire assembled body of people are likely to suddenly jump to their feet and yell in celebration or righteous indignation at a basketball game.

At a sorority tea, one might discuss one's plans for the weekend. One might discuss how events of the past week transpired. One will find friends at a sorority tea. No doubt one will love to chat and catch up with these friends at a sorority tea.

But girls.... let's pay attention. Let us distinguish between a BASKETBALL game and a SORORITY tea. And when I say "girls" I mean "you men who keep chatting like a bunch of girls at a sorority tea".

It's happened twice now. Once at the Kings vs Pacers game in March. Again tonight at the Monarchs vs. Liberty game.

WTF?

Tonight's Chatty Cathy's show up AT HALFTIME and then chit chat.

There is something very very wrong with this picture. These MEN, who we can only presume paid their money (and those Kings seats were $165 per) to go to a SPORTING EVENT, are chit chatting while *I*, sports fan not so much, am trying to watch the game. Stay home and have your visit. Because us WOMEN want to watch the game. We're trying to see. We're trying to hear what that moronic call by the ref was, exactly.

SHUT.
UP.

I should not know about the soccer games and the marital problems and the new investments and the deals about to be made.

Good grief. The 12 year olds with us paid more attention.....

Monarchs 59
Liberty 46

Nancy-ology

2007-06-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

(again.... without Stacy, I'd never blog...)

ARCHAEOLOGY: the study of material remains
What's the oldest article of clothing you still wear? HA! I NOW wear a pair of capri's that have to be at least 5 years old...maybe more
What's the oldest article of clothing you won't get rid of? It isn't so much *I* won't, but my children won't. A big ol' cowl neck sweater dress circa 1982. Gen-U-Ine vintage 80's wear.
When was the house/building you live in built? 2000
What in your fridge needs to be thrown out? Most everything

BIBLIOLOGY: the study of publication
What are you reading? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. So I'm up to speed before the movie comes out.
Do you have a favorite quote? Of all time? No.
What's the most recent music you purchased? CD's of compliations of the Schoolhouse Rock music.
What book could you read again without being bored? As I was falling asleep last night I thought "I should read The Great Gatsby again..."

CARDIOLOGY: the study of the heart
How old were you the first time you fell in love? For real? Probably 20.
What charities do you have a heart for? Elk Grove Food Bank Services.
What's the best way someone can show their love for you? Do stuff for me.
Name five things you "love": THINGS? Hmmm.... I might remember to come back to this. (still got nothin'....)

PHYSIOLOGY: the study of physical function
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
Do you like your smile? Not especially
What's your best feature? My hair
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? The shorter list is what hasn't....
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell. I'm always the only one that "smells that".

OMNOLOGY: the study of everything
What color do you think looks best on you? Strong colors.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Not that I'm aware of
What's your favorite flavor of gum? Hate. Gum.
Where's the first place you went today? The bathroom.
Do you stand or sit in the shower? Stand.

AXIOLOGY: the study of the nature of values and value judgments
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? No.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Sure.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? No.
What value is of utmost importance to you in a friend? Honesty
Would you accept an indecent proposal for $1,000,000? Depends. Is his name George Clooney? If so... we can talk. If not.... Is his name.... ;)

TECHNOLOGY: usage and knowledge of tools
What's the last movie you saw? Heh. Ocean's 12. RIGHT before that? Ocean's 11. Hey... Ocean's 13 is opening... gotta refresh the memory!
What's the first website you visit when you log on? ScrapShare
What's your ring tone? The stupid one that is the ONLY one available on my Razr.
Would you quit blogging for $25,000? Maybe.....
What piece of equipment do you wish you owned? Hmmmm...maybe a new MacBook Pro. Or a zippy new camera.

GENEALOGY: the study of relationships within families
Is there a specific family member you're really missing right now? No.
Who is your oldest living relative? Maybe Aunt Elsie.
Are you named after anyone? No.
Is there anyone really famous in your family tree? Yes.

Open Letter

2007-06-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

This is an open letter to the woman in the silver Honda Civic in front of me in the drive-thru at Starbucks this morning.

First.... you cut me off. My car is bigger than yours and I would have hit you in your door. I would have won. Think about that....

Second.... if you have never used a drive-thru before, Monday morning at 7am at STARBUCKS is not the place to learn.

Third.... on Monday morning at 7am at STARBUCKS, in the drive-thru people just want their coffee. If you want breakfast, for all four people in your car.... Go. In. Side. At the VERY least, know what everyone wants and be ready to order it quickly. This is NOT the time to peruse the menu.

Lastly.... you are in the line at STARBUCKS. Wells Fargo Bank is next door and opens in 2 hours. If you NEED TO BREAK A FRICKIN' 50 dollar bill, they have some fancy schmancy new ATM's... Starbucks is not a bank. I know it's nice that they will take your credit card and I see that you used that. But asking the girl in the window to make change so you can give your kid in the backseat lunch money? Uncool. Especially since you, apparently, were particular about what kind of smaller bills, exactly, you wanted and seemed to get peevish that STARBUCKS could not provide you with exactly what you requested.

Sincerely,
The 7 cars behind you.

Busy

2007-05-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

Our house needs deep cleaning. Mostly it needs less junk.

We've been in the process of de-junking. Many trips to Goodwill and The Discovery Shop have been made. Many more are to come....

Part of the problem has been storage. Some things simply did not have a place to live. Example: The vacuum doesn't have a home. It just ends up where it ends up. It still doesn't... but if we had a proper linen closet, it would. Why home builders don't build proper storage, I do not know. Lots of useless attic space. Lots of vaulted ceilings. No storage.

One item that has fought me every. single. day. of my married life is the dresser that was handed down to us by my in-laws. The Mr. has always thought the bedroom and dining room sets that we were given were perfectly wonderful. Yes. I agree. They are quality Thomasville pieces. However, they are circa mid-1970's and not at all my style. Never have been.

The style.... I can live with. It isn't my style, but it's ok. Sorta. But FUNCTIONALLY the stuff reeks. The drawers are shallow and don't slide out more than a quarter of the way. Well, they will slide out half way....if you yank on them with the force of 20 elephants. I could never fit all my socks in the sock drawer. Clothes were ALWAYS piled on the top because the drawers were full and/or just a pain to use.

I got fed up the other day. We went out to RC Willey in Rocklin and bought all new bedroom furniture. We didn't find a "set" we liked....but we found parts of different sets we liked and that went together. We added a bookshelf from Target (cause Marfy made me) and kept the side table Mr. made a few years ago.

Of course...we decided to paint. Big heavy furniture had to get out of the bedroom. More big heavy furniture was coming in. Now was the time.

We had the red paint for years. It's been long discontinued. We stole it from our neighbor. They used it in their family room. I quickly chose something to go with it and we got down to business.

It was all done when the furniture arrived 6 days after purchase. Marfy approved of the painting and the furniture. We think the boys that delivered the furniture thought me -n- Marfy were gonna be sharing the new furniture. This makes us giggle.

ALL those drawers slide in and out OH so nicely. Socks? I have room to spare!

Now to get the big heavy stuff downstairs and find some kindly charitable organization to take it away.

....and to go through all the boxes and bins and whatnot and find places for the stuff I'm gonna keep. But! I keep adding to my Goodwill pile. Especially when I go through all those things that got shoved to the back of the drawers that wouldn't move.

Next room: Emma's. It was supposed to be next. She and I will start on that after school is out on Friday. Well...not ON Friday.... school's out on Friday and we'll start the following week.

But here's the result:

Some Days

2007-05-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

Some days I'm smarter than other days. Some days I can't figure out how to tie my shoes. Ok..... most days.

Today.... eh....smarter.... LOL!

Greetings from the End of Season

2007-04-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

The last week of Tax Season brings 'em out. Early season clients are generally just your run of the mill dingbats. One can be generous and say they are hard working folk who just don't make a lot of money.

But that would be a lie for the vast majority of them. They don't work hard. They don't work long. They make just enough to maximize their Earned Income Credit and apparently do something else that doesn't generate income tax records cause I know that if I was only making $14K a year, I wouldn't be driving an Escalade. Especially since I don't drive a vehicle that starts at $55K and I make more than $14K by a fair margin.... but I digress.

End of Season.

At our office that means we get those folks that owe the guvment. These are not, for the most part, the folks of whom I speak. Those are the people who just don't want to write that check a moment before they have to. Which is fine.

It's the other people.

Glen is our New Guy. He keeps saying "We are getting some CRAZY calls!" Welcome to the End of Season, Glen....

In the past week:

Phone rings, I answer. Person on the other end says:

I have taxes.

I pause waiting for the rest of it. Or is this just an information only call perhaps? But no. Nothing. So I say "ok". The now TESTY person says "SO! I need to make an APPOINTMENT!"

But of course....

Phone rings.

"I MUST get in this weekend!"
Ok.
"I have to get my 2004, 2005 and 2006 taxes done!"
(You're in a hurry now....why?)

Person walks in. Wishes to "have his taxes done." Appointment? "No... do I need one?" (four days before taxes are due.... what do you think?) Let me see if we can fit you in...

Sure enough we can. So what does he need done? Taxes from... 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006.

Well ok then.

Considers the cost of doing all those at once, decides to just do 2006. He says he'll be back to the rest later.

Phone:
"Hi. I got a tax thing. How much is my return?"

(Do you now? A tax THING? Sucks to be you. IRS doesn't like to see THAT. No one wants to see your thing, especially if it has taxes on it.)

A W-2?
"Yea. That's it. How much am I gonna get back?"

(I KNEW I shoulda brought my crystal ball to work today....)

Well sir, I can't tell you that over the phone. I need to DO your return before I can determine how much you'll get back, if anything.

"What do you mean do my return? Can't you just tell me???"

No.
"Click"

Phone.

"I did my own taxes on TurboTax, but it says I owe. Can you fix that for me so I get money back?"

No.

Phone.

"Ok...so I've got TurboTax and it's asking me if I had any capital gains on my stocks. How do I figure that out?"

(so.... you just want free tax advice??)

I would imagine that you would enter in the differential between your sales and your cost basis plus or minus commission depending on the reporting.

"oh."
click

Phone.

"What's the last day to file?"
April 17. Next Tuesday.

"So if I file on the 17th, will it be late?"
No. The 17th is the last day.

"What if I file on the 18th?"
Then you'll be late.

"huh. Uh.... ok."
(waiting for more.......)
(waiting.....)

"So can I come in on Sunday?"
Sure. Let me give you to the person who can make that appointment for you.

*caller on hold...sent off to appropriate person*

~time passes~
That guy you gave me...wanted an appointment on Sunday?
Yea....
Sunday the 22nd. Got mad when I said we were closed.
Did he make one at all?
Nope.
Of course he didn't. Now he's gonna tell everyone that we won't LET HIM file his taxes.
Of course he is.

Phone.

"Can I still get my credits for last year?"

Credits?

"Yea. I need to get my credits."

Credits? What credits would those be?

"My tax credits."

(of course)

You can still file your 2005 tax return and any and all credits would still be available.

"ok. good."

Later...she walks in.

"I need to do my 2005 so I can get my credits."

(of course you do)

"I only have $100 to pay you."

(of course you do)

She did get all her credits. But she mumbled random numbers under her breath the entire time so we aren't sure if they were the same credits she was looking for. But we did give her all the ones afforded to her by the tax laws of the US Government and State of California.

Then there are the phone calls OUT.

"Hi...this is me calling from the tax office. I'm just calling to remind you that your return is still on hold (since January) and the deadline for filing is in four days." (and yes, I know you don't want to pay the government but they aren't going away....)

~dial number~
"We're sorry, but the number you have just dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again."

~check number, dial again~
"We're sorry, but the number you have just dialed is disconnected or no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again."

Allrighty then.... Moving and leaving no forwarding number TO US does not mean the US Government cannot track you down. You still owe 'em.

Phone:

"I went to H&R Block and they said I owe for one of those Rapid Refund things I got a couple years ago. Said I didn't pay 'em. I told them I paid it but they said the bank said that I didn't. Can you call the IRS and tell them to give me my money cause H&R Block won't do that."

No.

Phone:

"I got my taxes filed by H&R Block. But I think they totally ripped me off. Will you file my taxes and get me more money?"

We can review what Block did and see if they missed anything.

"No. I want to re-file my taxes."

Well.... you can't RE-file your taxes. It's kind of a one shot deal. But your taxes can be AMENDED if they made an error.

"Ok. Do that then. I don't know what it's called!" (said with tone and attitude)

We would have to re-enter all your information and thus, charge you the full amount we would have if you had done your taxes with us, plus another $100 for the amendment. Of course, we'd let you know if you'd be getting more back before...

"I. KNOW. They effen RIPPED ME OFF. I want you to get me MY MONEY."

I cannot guarantee that we will be able to get you MORE money. I just want to be sure you understand it can cost you at the minimum $200 and maybe as much as $500 for us to do all that for you.

"What the hell???? I wasn't the one the effed up my taxes! Block did!"

Then perhaps you oughta go back to them and insist that they make it right.

"I don't trust them."

Would you like to make an appointment?

"I have to have an APPOINTMENT??"

click.

~~~~New record for documented mortgage INTEREST (not principle. not property taxes. not insurance. in.ter.est.):
$82,000. Yes. Eighty-two thousand dollars. In 2006.

An individual.
Personal home.

This job is an amazing look into the lives of ordinary people....

36 and 20

2007-04-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

Thirty-six weeks ago I started keeping track.

Thirty-six weeks ago I started going to the gym, on average, three times a week and weighing in each time.

Down. Then back up. Down. Then back up. If I hadn't been keeping track, I would have given up because it sure didn't FEEL like that scale was moving.

This past week, I reached the twenty pound mark. I have at least that many more to go. Thirty more will be a real reach. So....somewhere between 20 and 30 more pounds to go.

I decided I wanted a new dress (or two or three) this weekend. Normy and I went to the mall in the quest for a new dress. Between the "potato sack" look and the "bad LSD trip" prints, the pickings were slim. I finally found a couple and was ever so happy to be able to just grab a size 10 off the rack and not wonder if I could get the zipper zipped.

I have to go through my closet. I pulled a dress out with every intention of wearing it to work last week. But it was a 14. It was a dress that just fit last year. Barely. Mostly. I could wear it with super-dee-duper-suck-it-in underwear. I really like that dress. I REALLY like it now.

I'm hoping next Easter the two new dresses in my closet will no longer fit in the same way that Easter dress of last year no longer fits.

I still don't like going to the gym. But I like trying on clothes and not trying to make sure all the lumps and bumps are camouflaged. So I will keep going. Another 36 weeks will put me just about Christmas. Hopefully by that time I will also be able to keep up with Renee in her spinning class. I think I'm gonna have to go to more than just Sunday morning spinning to do that tho'.

And then Normy and Stevie are gonna have to take their smokin' hot wives out on the town.

If it wasn't for Stacy...

2007-02-26T18:20:00.000-08:00

I might never blog.... Again, from her...

10 Favorites
Color: green? blue?
Food: I don't think I can narrow it down to just one.
Month: Any one that is warm and sunny.
Song: Depends on my mood...
Movie: Princess Bride? Love Actually? Top Gun? Again.... too hard to name just one.
Sport: To play? None. To watch? Lately, it's basketball....
Season: Summer
Day of the Week: Friday, generally
Ice Cream Flavor: I do try to avoid ice cream.... mint chocolate chip is the usual order tho'
Time of Day: bedtime

9 Currents
Mood: Frustrated
Clothes: Jeans, shirt,
Taste: dinner
Desktop: stock photo from Apple, rocky seashore
Toenail Color: Holy Pink Pagoda
Time: 6:30pm
Surroundings: my messy family room
Thoughts: "who thinks up this stuff?"
Wonderings: See above

8 Firsts
Best Friend: Charles Mullen. Mullin?
Kiss: Brian S.
Screen Name: Nancy D.
Pet: Cat
Piercing: Ears
Crush: I'm told my cousin David
Computer: An IBM circa 1986. Had a boot disc you had to put in first....
Home Location: ever? Daly City

7 Lasts
Cigarette: Haven't had a FIRST
Drink: Milk with dinner
Kiss: When Normy got home
Movie seen at the theater: Night in the Museum
Phone Call: Emma called me from the bathroom upstairs using her sister's phone to tell me that her sister had left her phone at home and wasn't getting my messages. She would have come downstairs to tell me, but.... she was in the bathroom. She's helpful like that.
CD played: One of my own in my car
Gift received: Normy got me brownies the other night

6 Have You Evers
Dated One Of Your Best Friends: nope
Broken the Law: does speeding count?
Been Arrested: nope
Skinny Dipped: of course
Been on TV: Yep
Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: nope

5 Things
You've Eaten Today: the pot roasty thing I made for dinner, green beans, biscuits, bean burrito and yogurt.
You've Done Today: got a pedicure, watched the rain POUND down, fixed an actual dinner, surfed the web, blogged.
You Can Hear Right Now: "Friends" on the TV
You Can't Live Without: Air, Water, Electricity... don't know what else
You Do When You're Bored: nap, websurf, read.... don't know what else

4 places you've been today
To get my pedicure
To the mail box
Down the street to unblock the gutter so the rain water could get to the drain
....that's it

3 people you can tell anything to
Normy
Elaine
Bob ;)

2 Choices
1. Black or White: White
2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 thing you wanna do before you die
Travel more

For Stacy again...

2007-02-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
A bit.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?

Not like Stacy does. Or Normy for that matter. I will have a favorite pen and then I'll lose it or it will run out ink and I'll find a new favorite. Currently, it's a pen advertising some pool service that I use at work.

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?

My "planner" is my iCal.... It appears I am going to work. It is not a Girl Scout meeting day. Maybe I will go to Late Night at Knitique.

4. What color are your toenails usually?

Winter? Au naturale. Summer? Something bright and garish like hot pink.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?

Where someone needed to sign their tax forms.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?

Navy and "natural" stripe. Canvas.

7. What color are the seats in your car?

Dark Gray

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?

Sorta. Oreo was my parents cat after I had mostly moved out of the house.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?

The envelope to send in our COBRA payment a couple weeks ago. Not that they did anything with it except to cash the check. I will send another one this week. Hopefully they will establish our account and pay our freakin' insurance.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?

Kinda. Friends of my sister's live there. I think. Maybe they moved....

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?

I remember doing it. I needed cash for where I was going. Can't remember where that was though.

12. Who is the last baby that you held?

Oh. Wow.... Might have been Gracie. PJ and Maryann's daughter. Who's, what?, 2? 3? Oh! Maybe it was Aiden, Krista's son. Happy 3rd Birthday, Valentine Boy!

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?

None personally. But yowza... the names that come across my desk.....

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?

Ick.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?

(sorry Stacy) My yellow New Beetle.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators.

Why?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags

Six Flags???? Dang if I know. Six Flags Over Texas??? I think I was in 7th or 8th grade. Went with my cousins who lived in Dallas at the time. (again.... sorry Stace...)

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?

Other than the red chili pepper Wallies, no.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow:

It appears to be some piece of paper... probably brought home from school.

20. Last person to give you a business card?

No idea.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?

The gal who did my nails yesterday.

22. Closest framed picture to you?

The Renoir print hanging over the fireplace that I bought when I was in college. It's faded and needs to be replaced.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?

Normy made tacos on Monday night. I didn't get home until almost 10 last night from work so I didn't eat dinner.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?

Nope.

25. How many emails do you have?

email addresses? Four. My regular one. My usetabe CM one. My gmail one. And my Yahoo! one that I use when I have to give people an email address but I don't really want them emailing me. I used to actually use it.... now it's just junk mail.

26. Last time you received flowers?

Maybe 19 years ago today (Valentine's Day). A big bouquet of red roses was delivered. Sent by my boyfriend. A month later he proposed.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?

Nope.

28. What are you listening to right now?

The clicktity clack of my typing and Emma's typing on the computer.

29. Do you play air guitar?

No.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?

I've become fond of CoffeeMate's Chocolate Raspberry Non-Dairy Creamer as of late.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?

huh?

32. What is your high school mascot's rival?

Tustin Tillers

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?

Jennifer. Duh.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?

Probably last week at work. Germy place that work....

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?

Yea......

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?

Medium brown stain.

37. What is in your inbox at work?

No inbox.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?

That Joe and Gavin SWEAR they aren't gonna move the team to Vegas but golly, what a swell place for an expansion team.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?

PAGEANT?

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?

Round Table. Last Friday.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?

I don't think so.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?

Tax papers.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?

I don't drink unclear Pepsi. CLEAR Pepsi? Barf o'rama...

44. Are you ticklish?

No.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?

Fourth of July.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?

My mom.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?

Probably when I lived at the Fairgrounds apartment.

49. Do you have a black dog?

No.

50. Do you have any pickles in your fridge?

Yes.

51. Do you find Dan French irresistible?

Who?

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?

Uh... he lives in Australia and I don't actually KNOW him....

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?

Yesterday. On the Blvd.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?

No.

55. Do you have a little black dress?

Yea baby.

The Effort of Hate

2007-02-14T08:07:00.000-08:00

The Dixie Chicks won five Grammy Awards this weekend. One of them for their song "Not Ready To Make Nice". I downloaded it several months ago from iTunes. Here are the lyrics if you aren't familiar with them:

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and I kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

They won on Sunday.

Saturday I was enjoying my Free Time during our church's annual Women's Retreat. I had gone to the mall and was on my way back to the retreat center. I passed a man who had what appeared to have originally been a small pickup truck. He had built a "shell" around it. It was really too big for that little pickup. But it first told me to REPENT! and then, in big, bold, garish, assaulting letters it railed against homosexuality in general and "Gay Marriage" in particular.

These two things happened pretty much within 24 hours of each other. But last October I had a brief conversation with Juror Number One from the Scott Peterson murder trial. My husband and Greg were friends in high school and their reunion was last October. When Normy realized that the guy on TV was his old friend he sent him an email. Normy told him thanks for the sacrifice he made and hard work he put in. He also told Greg that he made him proud and represented the old school well.

When we spoke to Greg about the whole thing, he told Norm how much he appreciated the email. He said something about how frighteningly easy it was for people to get his contact info... like Norm had. Norm told him "I got it out of the last reunion book". Greg looked a bit relieved and told us that not only did he get email, but snail mail too. With death threats.

So this weekend's events against the knowledge that Greg had gotten death threats and his family had been harassed by complete strangers got me thinking about The Effort of Hate.

How can the words that someone says, send someone so over the edge that they write a letter saying a life will be over?

It was easy for Norm to get Greg's email. Greg had, in effect, given it to him. He went to the cabinet where all such things are kept and got it. But Norm knows Greg. Perfect strangers had to take time out of their lives to search for that information. Then they had to compose the hate mail. Some of them had to then affix a stamp and take it to a mailbox. Others simply hit "send". These aren't friends and relatives of Scott Peterson, no no. These are total strangers. People who personally knew none of the principles involved.

That man with that truck? The time and money it took to create this display of hate. The effort it took to make sure it was street legal. What would have happened if he had put that kind of money and effort, and in the name of his god, fed the hungry? But instead, he chose to spread hate the name of his god.

And those people who sent death threats to Natalie Maines? It took effort too. What if they had expended that energy sending care packages to soldiers serving overseas? They chose to tell her to "Shut Up and Sing" instead.

The Effort of Hate.

Imagine a world where the energy put into hating was re-channeled into doing something out of love and compassion instead. Imagine that instead of saying "You don't have the right to...." be who you are, who you were born, voice your opinion, come to a different conclusion than I did, worship your god, love who you do, feel differently than me, be smart, be successful, be beautiful, be wealthy, be poor.... Imagine that instead, we simply said "You are a child of God and have sacred worth".

You don't have to agree except perhaps to agree to disagree. You don't have to adopt "the other way" as your own.

Imagine a world where it was OK to be...... Not just like me, like you, like them, like us.

To simply.... be.

Imagine a world where no one made an Effort to Hate.

Wisdom

2007-02-13T18:04:00.000-08:00

My mother, quoting her mother... who for all I know was quoting HER mother, always said:

If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

I attribute that quote to my grandmother. Today I changed my signature quote line on ScrapShare to that quote. It seemed appropriate.

I ask a lot of questions in my job as a tax preparer. Some questions are surprisingly difficult for my clients to answer. Like.... "what is your child's birth date?" It's a stumper to far too many people. It's also hard to remember one's child's last name.

Some questions I ask and they throw it back to me to answer.

"How much did you give to charity?" I ask.

"How much is normal?" they ask me.

I swear.... one of these days I'm gonna say "Bill and Melinda Gates gave a couple of mil last year. You?".

Having grown up with my mother quoting my grandmother, I know better than to ask questions when I don't want to know the answer. And I don't. So it takes some getting used to dealing with those who haven't heard the wisdom of my maternal family line. People ask a question. I give them an answer because it just doesn't occur to me that they don't want to hear the answer.

I find it puzzling too. Why ask if you don't want to hear the answer? What is the purpose? These aren't rhetorical questions. These are actual questions. What is wanted is only answers that the questioner agrees with or wants to hear.

I guess it's like that proverbial wife question: "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?" Men know the answer is "no", even if it makes her ass look like a double wide. It took my husband years to fully understand that I'm asking because if they DO make me look fat he better tell me. If it looks bad on me... TELL. ME. Because if I didn't want to hear the answer, I wouldn't have asked the question.

I don't understand the thinking, invariably female, that says "tell me a lie instead of the truth if the truth is something I don't like". The thinking that says "I'd rather go out looking like hell than to be told the truth and make a change."

I guess it comes down to hidden agendas. The other day at work my boss and a co-worker said "With Nancy, you know where you stand." They were giving me grief cause I was giving it to my boss. Good natured ribbing.... But it's true and I've heard it more than once. Not always so good naturedly. There are those who down right do. not. like. me. because I have answered their question and they didn't want to hear it. And that would be my fault for the answering, never their's for the asking.

There was a hidden agenda. They wanted to be told they were doing the right thing. They wanted to be justified. That's fine. But don't ask if you are doing the right thing if you ONLY want to be told you are. I always think that if you have to ask, you are questioning and are thinking somewhere deep inside that you are not doing the right thing. I realize that it's tough to be told you aren't. I've certainly been told so many times in my life!

I said something off the cuff many months ago and someone quoted me back to me. Not saying it to me, but saying "whoohoo! I get to use my favorite quote of yours!" and told me what it was. Cracked me right up. It went something like this....

When several people, people who usually can't agree that the sun will rise tomorrow, tell you that your slip is showing, it is probably a good idea to retire to the ladies room and examine your outfit.

And so I add onto my grandmother's wisdom....

Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer, and when you ask and get the same answer from different quarters, it might not be what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear.

Postscript:
My mom says it was her mother's philosophy, but her one-liner. Now we both know! ;)

Relatively Cold

2007-01-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

It's been cold here. Now I know all y'all in the more northern climates are thinking "they don't KNOW cold in California". Heck... these days... some of y'all in the SOUTHERN climates are thinking that too.

According to VW (my handy dandy thermometer on my Jetta) it was a balmy 26 degrees this morning. I thought it was closer to 36. Last I had looked at it, it was 39. I looked at it at that point because the Jetta warns me when the temp is 39 degrees. The display blinks and a chime chimes to let me know... HEY! It's cold out there! Watch for ice.

My chime has been chiming a lot lately.

But as I looked around the parking lot at the grocery store I noticed those crazy Californians doing what they always do.... Walking around in short sleeves. One would think Sacramento Valley inhabitants (who don't hardly blink at 110 degrees for 5 days straight) would be the first to pull out the long woolies as soon as the temp dips below 50. But like heat, dry cold isn't as cold as wet cold. And we haven't had wet cold. Fog? Have we HAD a foggy day?? Maybe a foggy morning... I don't think we've had a day of fog yet. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

It's been cold here. My friends in places like Minnesota and Wisconsin have been grousing about how ponds aren't frozen over. Huh. The holding ponds (for the mosquito fish) at Mosquito and Vector Control were frozen over on Monday. I don't think one would want to skate on them.... but frozen over they were. The big lake/pond/whatever next to them wasn't. Maybe the geese and ducks (and occasional swan... we have wild swans around here) kept it moving enough through the night.

Our neighbors keep watering their lawns at night...and overwatering as usual. So sidewalks are dangerously slippery.

It might not be below freezing.... but this is cold for us. We don't know how to behave. We don't wear coats. We don't turn off sprinklers. The only thing we do is wrap towels around our outside pipes after the news reminds us to do so to keep them from freezing.

This morning, a major water main burst underground a major intersection. The cold is the suspected culprit. It's been cold enough to freeze an underground pipe. They are struggling to get it turned off and much of the road has been washed away.

I can hear you Canadians laughing. I know you Yankees are shaking your heads. It's ok. This summer we'll be doing just fine in our 110+ degree heat. We'll be wondering what y'all are complaining about when it hits 90 at your house. We don't even call that "hot".

Coronation

2006-12-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

No...not really. But she gets to wear a crown.

Notes for Christmas 2007

2006-12-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

Have tape.

Need Christmas Gift Bags.

Still good on gift tags.

Productivity

2006-12-14T08:29:00.000-08:00

My To Do List is long. Lots of stuff to get done by Christmas. Many of those things are related to Kaitlyn's Installation as Honored Queen of Bethel 347 of the International Order of Job's Daughters. But there are other, usual things. Like Christmas shopping. But this installation and related activities is a big part of it. Example: We will be having approximately 10 teenage girls here for a movie tomorrow evening after taking them to a pizza parlor as part of the outgoing Honored Queen's term. As Senior Princess, Kaitlyn is in charge of it. Which means Kaitlyn's mom is in charge of it.

So each day must have things done.

Yesterday was mostly unproductive on my part. Normy and the girls did get the tree decorated and all the interior lights up. I will put my snowmen on the mantel sometime today. I will be baking the cookies I didn't bake yesterday after I'm done blogging.

Why was I a slug? I think I have a pretty good excuse. I put a bad guy in jail yesterday morning.

I was just running over to the scrapbook store behind the house to get some colored paper to run through the printer so I can print up the recipe cards for these cookies cause I'm baking them for a cookie exchange and the recipe is part of the exchange. It was to take me MAYBE 15 minutes.... even allowing for time to chat with my neighbor who works there. I left about 9:45. I got home at about 12:45. Considerably longer than I had planned. Add in the adreneline dump that I had and I was wiped out.

As I entered the traffic circle on my street, I noticed what appeared to some idjit driving with most of his body out of his car. As I thought it was entirely possible that Darwin would be in action and this idiot would fall out of his car, I looked to see if any more cars were entering the circle.

I saw what appeared to be a woman lying in the street. Cars were pulling over. I saw one man jump out of his truck and run towards her. I KNEW that idjit had something to do with it and I took off after him. At this point I could see he wasn't IN the car, but ON the car. Sitting, with legs outside, on the window 'sill' of the driver's side. They continued south for a bit and I grabbed my cell phone and called 911, pulled a receipt out of my console and the pen I keep there just in case. The car stopped and I stopped behind it. I left plenty of room to maneuver if I needed to. He walked around the back and stood there saying SOMETHING to me. I don't know what. Don't care either. At that point another car pulled up and the woman in the car said "Are you getting that plate?! Hey I know you!" and then she flipped a U-turn and took off. By this time the guy was in the car and they were driving away. I took off after them. I wanted to be able to give the 911 operator a location. After a few turns I lost them in the residential area of curvy streets.

When I got to EGPD (after first getting CHP) I gave the plate and I heard her say to someone in the room "NO. This one is a WITNESS." I was reporting a "possible hit and run... I don't know what happened exactly". Then I returned to the scene.

Those who had stopped had gotten her out of the street and she was on the grass on the side of the road. She wasn't moving when I first saw her, but as I got closer she started moving around. By the time I got to her she wanted to get up. She was frantic. She didn't know what had happened. She wanted to know where her daughter was. I was able to get her name and her daughter's name from her. She couldn't remember how old her daughter was. Two? Three? She couldn't remember for sure. She asked over and over and over again what had happened. I didn't know. I was starting to figure it out from what the others were saying. My neighbor around the corner was there and was the woman in the other car. We figured it out pretty quickly once we could think a second. She and I were the only ones that got a good look at that guy.

I tried to hold the young woman still. She told me her name was Carrie. I didn't know how badly she was hurt. She had some very bad 'road rash' on the side of her face and on her hands. I could tell she had a concussion from her inability to process and remember that she was hurt. I told her she had fallen down and just needed to be still and she would be just fine.

Paramedics arrived and apparently thought I knew what had happened. They asked me all the questions. I had precious few answers. But told them she couldn't remember the answers to her questions for more than about 15 seconds.

A EGPD officer arrived shortly thereafter and was shocked that there were so many witnesses. My neighbor and I told her we had the license plate of the car. She said "Yea, we know who he is." Oh. OK. Apparently it was helpful that I got that license plate reported quickly.

She called for more officers to interview the witnesses. I believe their were 7 of us. At least 7. That man in the truck I saw in the beginning. It ends up he's just 24 and was driving in the opposite direction. He saw Carrie and that guy in a heated argument and turned around to see if she needed help. Another woman was rolling down her window to ask the same question. Another woman saw him hit her. Another saw him get her in a headlock and they all saw him throw her into the street. Throw her hard enough to take the skin off the side of her face and the palms on her hands. In my non-medical opinion, she looked to have 2nd degree type burns. He threw her right in front of the young man's truck. He nearly hit her.

All who stopped had seen the assault. Most were on their way somewhere. My neighbor had a plane to catch. The young man was the only one, besides me, who really didn't have to be somewhere. He was on his way home from work. We were all interviewed. They finally got to me and took my receipt for new house keys (see the garage door posts... the girls needed keys since the garage door wouldn't open for them) with my license plate scribblings. It is now evidence.

The officer that interviewed me asked me to describe the man I saw. I gave my best guess on height based on his relationship to the car. His race was not clear. He struck me as not particularly Caucasian, but maybe Hispanic.... but really possibly more like some sort of combination. His hair wasn't LONG....but not short. Rather shaggy. He didn't have a beard or a goatee.... but he wasn't clean shaven either. He was wearing a sweatshirt... probably a hoodie. I think. Probably...yea. Brownish...gray. I think kind of a heathered brown. Couldn't tell ya about his pants. I wanted to say "jeans" but I have no clear recollection of his pants. Except that he was wearing pants as I was not under the impression he was pants-less.

The officer asked me if I could identify the man I saw.

Absolutely. He stood there for a extraordinarily long time under the circumstances. Someone obviously unclear on the concept of getting away unidentified.

My neighbor and I met two officers at a local coffee house so we could leave our personal vehicles there while the took us to where they were holding the suspect. A "show up" as it is called. In separate cars, sitting in the backseat (I was given the option of the front seat, but it would be harder for the suspect to see me if I was in the back), I was to see if I could identify him as "the guy".

As soon as he got out of the police car he was in, I knew it was him. He was wearing a black t-shirt and his hair was different. Buzzed. But it was him. The second I said "that's him", the officer I was with put the car in reverse and got me out of there.

When we got back to the coffee house, my neighbor and I made the same observation. "His hair was shaggier." We used the same word, even. Shaggy.

I fully expect to be called to testify if there is a trial. Which is fine. I have no problem with that.

I am very proud of my neighbors. The people who live and work and shop in this neighborhood. They stopped. They tried to help. At least two of them were willing to intervene on behalf of a young woman in trouble. I wish I had gotten the name of that young man. His parents should be proud.

And now I must do yesterday's and today's To Do's.

I think I'm gonna need a full pot of coffee today.

Answers

2006-12-14T08:25:00.000-08:00

Is that big spring necessary for the garage door to work AT ALL?

Mostly.

If I'm gonna be able to get my car out of aforementioned garage.

Yep. Damn if that door ain't heavy..... And boy am I glad I've been weight training.

How long it's gonna take for the garage door people who put a sticker on our garage door to come out to fix the spring on the garage door.

Wednesday. Only one full day without an operating garage door. Excellent. Especially considering the inclement weather.

Why a large explosion of metal didn't cause anyone except me & Kait to wonder what the hell that noise was.

Still unanswered.

How much a new monster spring on a garage door is gonna cost.

$99

How much having someone come and install said spring on said garage door is gonna cost.

$99 for parts AND labor. Again with the "excellent".

How much more room is on my To Do list.

See next entry.....

Wonder in my head.....

2006-12-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

I wonder:

Is that big spring necessary for the garage door to work AT ALL?

If I'm gonna be able to get my car out of aforementioned garage.

How long it's gonna take for the garage door people who put a sticker on our garage door to come out to fix the spring on the garage door.

Why a large explosion of metal didn't cause anyone except me & Kait to wonder what the hell that noise was.

How much a new monster spring on a garage door is gonna cost.

How much having someone come and install said spring on said garage door is gonna cost.

How much more room is on my To Do list.

Cause Stacy said....

2006-12-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

1. My current favorite song is: Afterglow by INXS (JD Fortune, not Michael Hutchence) Or maybe Pretty Vegas. Same group. Same lead singer.

2. The last book I read was: "Read" implies finished. Can't remember last finished... Started Wicked a while ago. Haven't finished it and it's been so long I have to start over.

3. The last book I bought was: Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama

4. The last cd I bought was: Don't buy CD's.

5. Another CD I wanted but didn't buy is: Still don't buy CD's.

6. Right now, I'm wearing: Jeans, turtleneck, Danskos, proper undergarments.

7. The last gift I bought was: I can't POST that....

8. The last time I laughed heartily and loudly: Today. Reading a thread on ScrapShare. It cracked me right up.... but it's location humor so I won't bother directing you to the thread cause you had to be there.

9. My favorite holiday ornament is: Hmmm... so many to choose from. Maybe my Santa head. It certainly has a special place in my heart.....

10. My house smells like: Right now, nothing. Soon: Del Taco.

11. The first thing on my to-do list tomorrow is: Go to gym. Take kids to school. Figure out what else on the list to tackle.

12. If I could sit on Santa's lap and believe that he'd bring me whatever toy I wished for, I'd ask for: MacBook Pro 17".

13. If I could holiday shop in ONE store, all expenses paid, I'd shop at: I have to go with Amazon. Amazon has EVERYTHING.

14. If an angel alighted on my doorstep today and said, "I'm here to grant a Christmas wish," I'd wish for: Peace. In every way.....

15. When I see a bell ringer while out shopping, I: am tempted to tell them that I'd pay them to stop that infernal ringing.

Ironic?

2006-12-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

Is it ironic that my self imposed radio silence can be lifted on the 65th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor?

Everyone, employer related, now knows that Norm will be leaving his company shortly. They also know that he will be joining the company that out bid (or underbid, depending on how you look at that) his company for the job they have been doing for the past 4+ years.

The Big Boss will make these next 2 weeks as miserable as she possibly can, of this I am sure. So far, so good. She found out yesterday morning and as of this writing, he has not heard from her. But there is a big meeting on Monday......

My boss said "Maybe she's glad to see him go." Maybe. But I rather doubt it. Sure.... she's been wanting to fire him every 6 months or so. But he works cheap and does a good job and makes her look good. He's also a couple months short of 10 years and she's supposed to retain long term employees. Orders from higher up. On the downside, no company logo toaster oven for us. Gosh. Darn. You know....as a reward for reaching 10 years with the company....

I am of the opinion that when she starts snarking at him he needs to look her in the eye and simply say "Hey... it was an offer I couldn't refuse. They offered me more money and the client asked for me by name. More money AND appreciation. How could I possibly say no?" Since she had been exceedingly stingy with both. Example: (not that I'm bitter, cause that would make it worse.) Norm saved the client several million dollars. As an "atta boy" Big Boss gave him a $25 gift card to a restaurant that both requires more than $25 for a single meal AND is not located in our town. Millions of dollars saved and here... take a bit off your dinner bill.

Maybe he ought to include it in a "It was swell working for you Big Boss" card.

Ironically, the Home Office people have been effusive in their praise. He actually saved them about $20K the other day. They LOVE him. His supervisor is sad and disappointed that he is leaving.

So who is this new company? Norm will now be working for a start up company. It's small. Very. Very. Small. They go by the ever so clever name of Norm Daley, Inc. He will contract with them for his services. Another company will pay the Inc. We have drawn a picture so we can keep track of who is paying whom. But yes.... He is now self-employed. His contract is for one year. He may become a regular employee at the end of that year. He might not. A bridge to be crossed at that time.

It will be a new adventure.... We feel good about this. Eliminating the soul sucking boss is the best part of all.

Radio Silence

2006-12-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Radio Silence would be required so the enemy didn't hear you back in some day.... WWII? Dunno. Don't care.

Not talking. The enemy might hear.

Will talk when the enemy has been eradicated.

Any. Time. Now.

Local

2006-11-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

The common wisdom is that all politics are local. Yesterday the opinion is that this time, it was national/global. It was all about Iraq. I'm not sure that is all together true, but the locally based races (the individual representatives) for national office seems to bear that out.

And Rumsfeld tendered his resignation hours after the almost final results are in (the Senate balance is yet to be determined at this writing). It's early afternoon in Washington DC the day after the election and a successor has been named. I can only conclude they were prepared for these results. I'm not sure what to make of that. It is, at the very least, interesting.

Back to local politics.....

In 2000 the people decided that the area of Sacramento County known as "Elk Grove" ought to become their own city. In 2000 there were 60,000 - odd people in that area. Now there are 130,000 or so. Fastest growing city in the country we are. Back in 2000 we elected 5 people to the City Council. They have all been re-elected once.

Four years ago a civil campaign was run by all. Right up until the Saturday before election day when nasty mailers were delivered on behalf of an incumbant. His opponant had no time to answer the charges. It was that day that he forever lost my vote. I wasn't going to vote for him then anyway. I was going to vote for his opponant because I had been pleased with his work on another elected body and thought he was a better choice.

Two years ago when the other 'half' of the council (we have a 2 - 3 split...) was up for re-election, it was nasty. I blame Dan Briggs. He stooped down and picked up the mud his feet were mired in and started throwing it. The other three followed. Unfortunately, the other three were re-elected because there were so many others on the ballot and they split the vote. I don't really consider 30%-40% of the vote a "win", but it was the highest percentage and so they "won".

Yesterday Dan Briggs only got 30% of the vote. I don't know much about the guy who won (and who I voted for). But other than "funded by developers", I never heard anything that caused me to have any second thoughts. And in many ways, it wasn't a vote FOR but a vote against. I am more inclined to vote for Arnold Schwartzenegger than Dan Briggs....

In two years the other three will be up for re-election. They should be worried about keeping their seats. I think they grossly underestimated how angry the community is over a single vote. It might not seem like a big deal, but it was symptomatic over how out of touch those five people had become in the short time they have been a city council. The Elk Grove Auto Mall simply does not need a big electronic sign on the freeway to advertise their presence. What they NEED is better public relations. They can do that by insisting that their dealers be more responsive to the customer. (we didn't buy our new VW there when we were told they didn't want to look for the car we wanted for us. Ok then......) (and we are not alone) But after a hefty "donation" to the city, the sign was approved. Most citizen think that all those cars lined up along the freeway says "cars are sold here". But apparently we were mistaken.

Politics are more local than the politicians like to think. We bear grudges. A single error can be unforgiveable. Repeated errors, hubris and arrogance will be remembered. We think we have a short attention span. We often do on surprisingly important ideas. But repetition will eventually get through our collective thick skulls. Admittedly that sets the politicos up for a fall. We don't hold them accountable for the first 'bad acts'. Then we slam them when we finally get fed up.

Which is why all politics are local. Because it doesn't matter if it's a stupid electronic sign at the city limits or a war on the other side of the world. Screw up enough, we'll remember at the polls and make changes here to make changes there. We might hate the idea of a gaudy sign being the first impression of our city. Or maybe we've buried too many of our young people fighting a war in the desert. But it all comes down to how it affects the "me". The "us". When we have to avert our eyes from the glare of the sign in the night or sit with a friend who's daughter just came home in a flag draped casket....

They think it isn't personal.

They are wrong.

Vote

2006-11-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

Today.

Go.

Now.

Think

2006-10-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

It might hurt a bit in the beginning. But after awhile, one gets used to it and it doesn't hurt anymore. Much like going to the gym. The first workouts result in painful muscles, but after a while one gets stronger and it doesn't hurt anymore.

So here's today's thinking exercise:

Connect THIS dot, with THIS one, and THIS one, and THIS one (which I like to call: Keith can count, Tony cannot).

And then watch this and wonder how stupid the current administration thinks you are...

A Long and Winding Road

2006-10-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

I need new earbuds. So I ordered some from Apple this afternoon. I got a notice this early this evening that my earbuds have shipped.

Which means the Apple warehouse put them on a FedEx truck. To go to an airport. To fly to Memphis. To be put on a truck to go to the FedEx Hub. To be sorted at the FedEx hub. To be put on another truck. To go to the Memphis airport. To fly to an airport. To be put on a FedEx truck. To be delivered to my house.

That's a LONG trip to get to my house.

7 miles from the Apple Warehouse.

Words

2006-10-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

There is a commercial currently running. I'm not even sure what they are advertising. Maybe a car. But Dad is putting Daughter into the car. Daughter is talking. About everything and nothing. Just running on and on.

It cracks us up, the grownups around here.

Emma didn't see why we thought it was funny. So I explained. I told her it's funny to parents because it happens to us all. the. time. Our children are telling us Important Things but it's really not much of anything but we feel obligated to listen anyway.

I could tell she still didn't get it.

Then we went to JoAnn's for Halloween paraphanalia. Only one register open and it was a return without a receipt. There was a Young Girl about age 3 with Mom With No Receipt. Young Girl zeroed in on Emma as her target.

Emma was polite and made the right noises. "uh huh. oh. uh huh." I really didn't pay attention. I'm waiting. to. pay.

We get in the car and Emma says "Now I know what you meant about little kids who talk to you and don't really say anything."

Uh huh.

She UNDERSTANDS now. She didn't say anything about stopping this habit herself...

As We Head Into Election Seasons

2006-10-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

These are the people that are in charge.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Vote.

Tar Pit

2006-10-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Southern California, one is aware of the perils of a Tar Pit. So sad for the Mammoth's and Sabertooth Tigers... They were tricked. They thought they were going to get a drink of refreshing water but instead they got stuck. They were stuck in this place they thought would nourish them and soothe their parched throats in the desert. Instead they got stuck and died a slow death.

There are tar pits out there much like those that tricked those ice age animals. They are just as deceiving. They disguise themselves as a place to soothe the soul. To find comfort and nourishment. In reality, they are a tar pit.

I have encountered, rather suddenly, a series of tar pits. Not for me, but for others. At first I thought they were just wallowing in self pity and martyrdom. I rolled my eyes in disgust. I passed them off with a "what the f-ever". But I realize now that they have encountered a tar pit.

Sadly, these tar pits are just as deadly as those 25,000 years ago in what is now Los Angeles. They have found places that appear to comfort and soothe, but in reality are literally sucking the life out of them.

Some of them arrive at the tar pit with the same need, some different. Well, I suppose they all have the same need. They each have a different genesis. But they gather together, huddle close and confirm their wounds one to another. They dwell. They rehash. They commiserate.

I understand it's natural to "be" in that bad place for a time. It's how we cope and process. Nor can I impose an arbitrary time limit on someone else's angst. But when they gather together and reinforce the angst and keep ripping at the scab. It never heals. It never forms the tough scar tissue that, while always with you, allows you to move on.

Each one of us has scars that have shaped who we are. Usually we become stronger people. Sometimes we become less able to cope. I have watched those who are able to face adversity and tragedy and grow stronger. I have watched those who are given adversity and become jello. I want to take the jello people and shake them. Not to watch them jiggle, but to shake some sense into them.

Getting stuck is a death sentence for them as sure as it was for the Mastadon and Shasta Ground Sloth. But instead of being attacked by Dire Wolves, they are prey to their souls. They are more likely to get sick. Stress breeds illness. Being stuck in a stressful situation wears on the body as well as the soul. Sometimes people literally die of a broken heart.

I wonder if I am doing them a favor by facilitating the wallowing. Where is the line between being supportive and picking the scab? I try to take to take my lead from the person in question. But I wonder if that is the right course of action. Is there a time to say "Snap out of it!" ??

I haven't had Great Tragedy occur to me in my life. I have, however, had events in my life that I could still be stuck in like the bubbling asphalt in downtown Los Angeles (it's really asphalt, not actual tar). I have moved on and have been asked HOW I could. How could I cope? I've always said "I had no choice." because I always felt I actually had no choice. Life went on and so must I. It never occurred to me until fairly recently I could choose to stay in that place. I never could see what the point of being stuck would be, exactly. Why would I want to stay in that bad place? It made no sense. Move on and get it over with.

I still don't understand. What IS the point? I have wondered this for some time. Usually when passing one of those roadside memorials. There are two near my home. One of them was the tragic death of a teen who was riding his bike on a dangerous road to do so. A tragic convergence resulted in his death. Often the memorial would be augmented by an admonishment that "speed kills". I often think, "more to the point, riding one's bike on a high speed road is dangerous to your health and life." The other one was a young man who no doubt never thought he could die on his motorcycle and didn't think about it when he turned left right into the path of an oncoming car. When I see that memorial I think of the poor schmo that was driving that car and how arrogant motorcycle riders often are. I don't think the families that placed these memorials intended for me to have those thoughts. But I do. I am positive that the effort they put into maintaining these memorials would be better spent on something truly honoring their lost sons. Safety education for one.

Is the point of being stuck to honor the memory of "the event" (whether that event was a death or some other major event)? If I can remember and be reminded when I dare to start to forget how wronged I was, do I honor that painful memory? What purpose is served? Is it simply attention? Are we that starved for attention in this ever increasingly busy society that the only way we can garner attention is by Keeping The Memory Alive? Is negative attention truly better than no attention?

We must remember Kaitlyn's heart surgery. I've been campaigning to remember every 2 years instead of every year. I got permission to remember every 18 months. I tend to procrastinate and push it to 2 years anyway. (it's ok mom. every one is better than the last.)

Most days I don't remember my own surgeries. About a week ago I was reminded of one of the side effects of my treatments. It's starting to look like I'm gonna have to go to the doctor. I'm gonna procrastinate until next week. Hopefully it will just get better. But dammitjanet, I doubt it. It's been a damn week. I'd go ahead and call the doctor now but we have plans for the weekend and I don't wanna mess that up. But my main coping skill is ignore it, not remember it. Meanwhile, I just take small bites and maybe this will help with the weight loss plan.

I have no personal need to remember. I have no personal need to rehash and re-examine. I don't want to join a support group. Really. I don't. I just want to deal and move on and get it behind me.

Maybe that isn't healthy either. But I know that I'd rather do that then die a slow death in the tar pits.

Life Is Good

2006-10-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

Route 66 Cherry Limeade.

'nuff said.

sick

2006-10-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

I hate being sick. Most of the time I can muddle through at about 80%. But when I'm sick sick... I'm flat out.

I'm sick sick.

I have slept away the past two days. I MUST go up to the school and plug in my computer so Emma can run her Keynote presentation on Nancy Drew - The Eskimo's Secret through the school TV system. So I shall have to bathe even.

Hopefully I will be able to do BOTH of those things, bathe and go sit at the school and click the computer, without passing out. I expect to sleep the rest of the afternoon.

This isn't good. I have to work AND coordinate a wedding rehearsal Friday. AND leave town Friday - Monday (with a quick trip to coordinate the wedding on Saturday) so there is laundry that must be done and scrapbooking stuff to gather together.

Tomorrow I have a hair appointment. And Kaitlyn's Powder Puff Football game.

I hate being sick. I just don't have time.

Ugh.

Tall Children

2006-09-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year we started looking at new VW New Beetles. We had great discussion on what color to get next. We HAD yellow... do we want yellow again? What about green? Maybe red? I even went as far as taking a poll on ScrapShare. Green won. Normy still said "yellow". Stacy said I best get yellow because that was the only proper color for a New Beetle.

We moved at usual pace on this project. Which means it took us 4 months to finally get a new car. In the intervening time, I noticed that Kaitlyn's head rested on the back window when she sat in the backseat. Emma's head didn't. Yet.

We decided that having Kaitlyn's skull as a roll bar was probably a bad idea. So we started exploring other options.

Renee Wo chose a Jetta as her new car several months earlier. I sat in her front seat. I sat in her backseat (which has a shocking amount of room). I looked in her cavernous trunk. I cringed at the thought of how much more a Jetta would be over a New Beetle.

So I "Built A VW" on the website and was shocked to see a $1500 difference. That was it?? I was expecting $5000 more, minimum. More like $10,000 more, really.

Well, well, well......

So we went on our quest for The Car I Want. It isn't out there. There was one in the color I wanted, but with options I did not. More to the point... a navigation system that would annoy the living daylights out of me every time I got in the car. The salesman said "the woman will tell you where to go!". Hmph. *I* am the woman that tells me where to go. I have an intuitive sense of direction and can read a map. I may be misplaced every once in a long while, but I can always find my way back to the freeway. Even without a map. Plus, I drive to Elk Grove and sometimes to Laguna (just the other side of the freeway, technically also Elk Grove for you non-locals). And if I'm going somewhere I am unfamiliar with.... MapQuest before I go and a stop at AAA for a map.... I'm good.

I need four wheels with tires on my car. They don't need to be bigger and fancier. So I felt no need to pay for either the nav system OR the spiffier wheels. Elk Grove Volkswagen felt no need to take those things off the price.

Alrighty then. Thanks, but no thanks. They were unhappy with us. They had to go fetch this car for us. We gave them a day to change their mind. Then we asked about other colors. Gunther didn't feel the need to help us anymore.

Alrighty then. Norm and I got online and started making inquiries. He was working Niello. I was working Hammer Lane and Roseville.

Roseville got right back to me and asked for more details than the online form really allowed for. I told her what I wanted, what I did.not.want. and my color preferences. Hammer Lane simply said "sorry we don't have any like that on our lot".

Roseville was happy to work with us and get us the one we wanted. The offered us a great deal on an '06, in red, but without the options we DID want. The '07 with the options we wanted was really out of our price range. We sat at Taco Bell and discussed how we might be able to make that work. Then we asked about the '06's with our options (but located on other dealer's lots). That was the happy medium we were looking for.

Friday we made the deal. Saturday they traded one on their lot for our car and we picked it up. We looked at the sticker that had been in the window.

Renee Wo's car? She bought from Hammer Lane, but they had to get it from Roseville.

Ours? We bought it from Roseville, but it came from Hammer Lane. I don't know why they told me they didn't have one on their lot........

I have to read the book to figure out all the buttons:

-Space For Rent-

2006-09-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Cause apparently I'm not using this space....

9-11-06

2006-09-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

May there be peace on Earth.....

September 1

2006-08-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

We did it.

August 2006 officially had exactly ZERO 100 degree days.

If we make it to Monday, we'll have gotten all the way through The State Fair without 100 degrees as well. Figures we didn't go to The State Fair this year.

August has alternated between feeling like an early fall and saying "Ah HA.... there's the missing Spring of '06!" I have had to take my Loratadine for my hay fever. In AUGUST.

September will bring The Busy Season. It will start early this year. We have tickets for Sunday's Game 3 of the WNBA finals. Next weekend is the Harvest of Hope dinner. Which ends up being an all day thing for those of us working to put on the charity dinner benefitting the the Food Bank. Followed by an all day meeting on behalf of the finance committee for Northern California/Nevada conference of our denomination and our church's Progressive Dinner. There is a school dance and an all night youth event with church in the mix too. Girl Scouts and Job's Daughters starts up again. I have to work a church wedding and go to Turlock to meet up with friends the first weekend of October. October brings someone's 30th class reunion. We aren't mentioning who cause then y'all will know I'm married to an old man. October begins the Social Season. Holiday parties of one sort or another (from costume to formal) will occupy nearly every weekend. Kaitlyn's installation is the day after Christmas and EVERYTHING must be done still. NOTHING got done over the summer.

See ya around the first of the year.....

{untitled}

2006-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

I usually start my blogs with the title. This one is untitled. Maybe that will BE the title "untitled". Usually I have my blog half written in my head before I start putting words down. So the title is my hook.... my opening line.

But I have no hook. No opening line. No idea where this is going to go. I am a swirl and whirl. I have been since Friday.

What happened Friday? My 11 year old let us know over pizza that she felt sorry for a classmate. (I shall call her Jenny) Emma had been friends with Jenny for several years. She ended the friendship when Jenny bit her last winter. We thought 5th grade was a tad old to be biting when angry. We also thought it was a solid idea, ending the friendship. Obviously the child is troubled. Some minor bullying occurred afterwards. As the incident did not occur IN school, there were no in school repercussions. An uneasy truce was reached. Tenuous at best. Desks are apart in the classroom.

So Emma feels sorry for Jenny this day. I was only mildly interested. I figured Jenny had thrown up at school or split her pants. Mortifying in 6th grade to be sure. But not tragic or life altering.

"Her dad died suddenly last night."

WHAT?? Who said THAT? Well, the teacher told the class that Jenny's dad died suddenly the night (or maybe day) before and no one knows what happened. Ok... the teacher isn't prone to rumor mongering... Surely it must be true.

We saw her dad about a month ago at Back to School Night. He appeared healthy. Did he have an accident? Did he drop over dead from a heart attack? Wow. Norm and I were rocked back. Wow. Yes. We feel badly for Jenny too.

I went to bed that night and didn't sleep. Not because of the news, but just because. Norm stayed up and was watching the news. He comes in to see if I'm still asleep.... "There was a report on the news... a guy last name "Jones" was shot...." I gasped. I KNEW. I had half heard a report on the news on the radio after I did the school run that morning.

How do you tell your child that her classmate's father committed suicide by cop?

Of course I didn't. I just told her that Jenny's dad made a mistake and it resulted in him being shot by the police. I said how sad and unfortunate it was.

I asked Em if she knew Jenny's dad. She said she had seen him at school once and maybe he picked Jenny up from her Nana's house once. Emma had always been in the care and custody of her grandparents when she "went to Jenny's house". We had wondered where he was and were told he was living and working out of town. According to news reports, he was living courtesy of the State of California.

Of course that swept away the fog of mystery surrounding why Jenny would act out the way she did.

Jenny's family is angry. They blame the police. They will be forever angry. Emma knows that the police aren't bad people. She's friends with them. They are family friends. They've tucked her into bed. They've driven her places. They've fed her. They've slammed her with a water balloon (and she's fired back). She knows the police as good guys. God Bless that child.... She also knows that (and I quote) "they don't want to hurt people, they want to be nice to them, but sometimes they have to so they can keep other people safe."

I am seething. Jenny's dad knew what would happen when he acted the way he did. He knew the drill. He had done it before. He knew to do as instructed. He chose not to. He chose the easy way out. Emma wanted to go, so I took her to the funeral. I watched the grief fill the sanctuary. I watched Jenny and her younger brother. Her too young to get it brother was mostly just bored. Jenny is not. Jenny gets it. He left her to carry his burden. He added anger to her burden. He added a fear and distrust for the police.

His family is suffering. Our family has been affected. The family and friends of the officer involved are affected. The paramedics are affected. So many people carrying this around. Jenny's dad is the only one who is not suffering.

They spoke of how much he loved his wife and children. How he would lay down his life for them. Big whoopy shit. Live for them. Face your mistakes and deal with them like a grownup. And live for them.

Emma keeps coming up with things that Jenny will miss out on because her dad died. He won't walk her down the aisle..... Her children won't have him as a grandpa....

I got in bed with her last night and told her how proud I was of her at the funeral earlier in the day. She met Jenny in the lobby and gave her a hug and told her she was sorry about her dad. She hugged Jenny's grandparents and told them she was sorry. After sucking up a big breath of courage, she approached Jenny's mom and said she was sorry and gave her a hug too. (Jenny's mom was very visibly mourning and I could understand Emma's hesitation) She was able to do what many grownups cannot. Just be there for those who are grieving. In the dark she said it just made her think about how lucky she is to have the family she has. I thought it was an interesting way to put it. Not "How lucky I am to have my family alive"... how lucky she is to have the family she has.

Sometimes I look at that child and wonder where she came from. She might narrate her life as she walks through it, but she generally doesn't really SAY anything. She sits and absorbs and just doesn't react. When I told her how Jenny's dad died (sanitized) she just said "oh." No real reaction. But she's thinking.... the gears are turning. And when they finally mesh together, she says the most profound things.

I told her this week was going to be difficult and I was sorry that it was going to be hard for her. It would be hard to BE a friend to someone you don't want to be friends WITH. But that's what we are called to do because we want to follow Jesus. "No one said it was gonna be easy! Besides. It was hard for JESUS." Well.... yes. Yes it was....

I am angry that my 11 year old is having to confront the idea that a Dad could choose to confront the police knowing they would shoot him instead of facing his consequences like a grown up should. I am angry that my 11 year old had to compromise her personal space so she could reach out to someone who had hurt her. I am intensely proud of her for doing so. I am profoundly sad for the children of a man I only set eyes on once. I am resolved to the idea that they will be angry at the police forever. I am worried about how that will play out at school... a school with more than a few children of law enforcement in attendance.

Today, as Emma was serving as Line Leader, Jenny came up to her and said thank you for going to the funeral and gave her a hug.

I am hopeful that Jenny will see that forgiveness, kindness and compassion are possible. I pray that Jenny chooses hope.

Overheard

2006-08-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

Young Man #1: Oh my God... I think she IS dying. Someone needs to give her a hamburger!

Young Man #2: She's so skinny her skin is just HANGING!

Young Man #1: That's not good.....

Daughter, age 14, looks at Mother. Mother looks at daughter.

Daughter smirks.

Mother is happy that the uberskinny Nicole Ritchie looks like death on a cracker and her demographic finds her repulsive.

Phones

2006-08-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I hate the phone. Email. Email is good. Texting is good. Phone is bad.

I use to like the phone. But the phone has turned against me. People who have no right, moral or legal, to use my phone number use it incessently. I blame the Republicans. They seem to call A LOT. Usually it's the Governor. I wasn't a fan of the Governor when he was someone who ought HAVE fans. I'm even less of a fan now that he's Governor.

But the damn thing rings and rings and rings. I don't even flinch when it rings anymore. It's become the yahoo mail of phones. I give out the number willynilly cause I ain't gonna answer the thing. Those who REALLY need to get in touch will call my cell like a proper human. Or email like a smart human.

We got tired of the incessent calling and decided that Caller ID was for us. We're gonna see who's calling. Not that it's actually helped yet.

But we have phones. For people who hate the phone, we have PHONES.

Land line wise, you are never more than 6 steps from a phone. One in the kitchen, one in the family room (separated by maybe 20 feet). If you get distracted on your way from the kitchen to the family room, no worries, there is one in the living room.

Upstairs there is one in our bedroom, one in my workroom and one in Normy's office.

And of course we each have a cell phone.

Tell me.... is 10 phones for 4 people excessive???

....and I'm not EVEN counting the old rotary one that is supposed to be in the garage but hasn't gotten hooked up in the new house (that is pushing 7 years old) quite yet.

Reluctant Rock Star

2006-08-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last night was the big kickoff ice cream social/party for the Elementary School. Normy and Kaitlyn didn't feel the need to go. Heck, *I* didn't feel the need to go. But Emma did.

So with a warning that we would only be there for a LITTLE BIT because we had to go get stuff for dinner and then EAT dinner we went. I bought Emma her game pass and some food tickets. I decided what the heck and let her get ice cream after all (two nights of ice cream before dinner I thought was excessive, but really...who cares?)

There was a band. A real, honest-to-goodness band. The Crazy Chesters. Well known on the school circuit.... see... they are all teachers. And they play a lot of Elementary School gigs. One of the teachers in the band is Jay DeWald, who was Kaitlyn's choir teacher last year.

I called Normy and Kaitlyn and said... come on over, there's a band. And they are GOOD. Good rock and roll/motown. One of them said they play school appropriate music like R-E-S-P-E-C-T and Keep Your Hands To Yourself. We told Kaitlyn that Mr. DeWald would probably let her sing backup. "OH NO! That will NEVER HAPPEN."

Mom told her to "never say never".

The band took a break and Mr. DeWald came over to talk to us. He encouraged Kaitlyn to come play in the marching band this fall. Playing the glockenspeil. No problem....she'd pick it up quick, he was positive. (There is no choir next year...not enough sign ups....which is a blog for another day)

When they started playing "Johnny B. Goode" Mr. DeWald offered Kaitlyn the tambourine from the stage. She was horrified. She refused. Mom told her "just go!".

And she did. And she had FUN. (excuse the quality, all I had was my phone camera)

Observed

2006-08-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

Emma and Kaelin walking towards school.

Emma had something that needed to go into her backpack on her back. Kaelin helped by unzipping a pocket and putting the item inside for Emma.

Emma helped by holding her pants up like one might do when one is walking through a puddle. Except there was no puddle.

As soon as the backpack was rezipped, she let her pants dust the ground like they had all morning.

Blue? Green?

2006-08-12T23:09:00.000-07:00

I waffle between blue and green as being my "favorite color". Of course if you look at that photo above you wouldn't need to ask!

I know that COLOR is my favorite. My favorite color is not white. Nor is it 'clear'. Our house abounds with color. Navy and mint green and yellow and periwinkle. Kaitlyn's cacophany of color in her room will be impossible to cover... if we ever want to.

When I was in high school I got a wild feather and painted my bedroom green. Two shades. It was a west facing bedroom and the yellow it was just made it feel hotter in the afternoons. Green made it feel cool.

Hunter green was the dominate color at our wedding.

But I am drawn to blue. The blue of Lake Tahoe. The blue of the morning sky as I watch the airplanes leave contrails on their way to points east. One of my hands down favorite paper colors for my scrapbooks is called "Sky". I have several packs of it because I never ever want to run out of it.

I surround myself with green. I am drawn to blue.

Perspective

2006-08-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

The funny thing with perspective is you can't have it without having another viewpoint.

Recently I was in a conversation and like a bolt from the blue it occurred to me. They have no perspective. They have no yin to their yang. They have no light in their dark.

You've had it happen... walking into a building and you think "Oh MY. Is my ass REALLY that wide??" Usually what happens then is your perspective shifts and you realize it is the glass that is wonky and not your ass. Maybe you move and your image changes. Maybe some skinny little thing walks past and HER ass looks huge too. But without that different viewpoint, you would think that your ass doubled since this morning in your mirror.

Unfortunately, it's hard to get another viewpoint. Especially when the "it" is something you are close to. Friends are great for giving another viewpoint. They are outside looking in. Good friends don't hesitate to speak up and offer their different viewpoint.

The party in question during this 'a ha moment' conversation has cultivated isolationism. It served them well. But only for a while. When they ask for input, they get it from those within the circle. Yes men, so to speak. They have so ingrained a sense of us vs. them and demonized the 'them' to the point that loyalty requires no other viewpoint. YES! We LOVE this. Everyone we knows loves this! Except everyone they know doesn't know anything differet either.

To truly thrive as people we need to step back when things are going badly and ask... Do I need a different perspective? When those around you who confirm your view of the world, is shrinking into a tighter and tighter circle... it's time to ask "What has gone wrong?". Asking the tight circle will not give the insight and perspective needed. Ask those who left. Ask those who are joining "them" at an exponantial pace. Walk in the door of a 'them' and see what they are doing. Invite them to your table.

Gaining perspective can be difficult. It can be painful. Sometimes it requires eliminating something near and dear to you. You may find that the one person you thought would lead you to better things is the very person who is leading you into bankruptcy (be that financial, moral or emotional). Sometimes drastic change is needed. Sometimes it isn't the change you thought was needed.

Because sometimes.... it is the mirror at home that is inaccurate, not the one on the street.

Feels like Fall?

2006-08-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Today I wore jeans. Jeans with sandles. (those cute black ones with just a bit of heel....comfier than they look...) My top was long sleeve. Linen... but long sleeve.

The "Delta Breeze" was more like "Delta Gale". Since there is some nasty disease that dries and curls the leaves on the trees running rampent through town, the Delta Gale was stripping these dead leaves from the trees.

The Marine Layer that gives us the blessed cool air off the ocean and bay and takes us from 115 degrees two weeks ago to "we hope to break 80" today came all the way to my house. It might have made it to Martha's house. I don't know. I didn't make it to Martha's house so I have no idea. But low cold wet clouds made for a brisk morning. A 'wear a jacket' morning. I didn't wear a jacket cause I was going to the gym and I knew I wasn't gonna be chilly.

Later when I was out running errands and waiting at every stoplight on Elk Grove Blvd. it looked and felt like fall. It felt like October.

I am not ready for October. October starts the busy season. Middle of September, really. I got a little bit of panic going because of the optical illusion of Fall in August. I know that in a week it could be 100 degrees again. Shorts and a tank top will be way too many clothes. The air conditioning will be on all night. But for now.... the air has the snap of fall in the air. The windows are open and I didn't hesitate to "bake" bread (something between bake and heat up) for dinner tonight.

If it's Summer, it's Tahoe

2006-08-04T16:59:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid my Aunt Aud and Uncle Ray owned a house in Tahoe. Just as you come down the summit into Meyers, there is a golf course on the right. Their house was on that golf course. Well, the HOUSE is still there. But they sold it many years ago.

Nearly every summer, if not every summer, we would spend a week at that house. It wasn't a large house. Plenty of beds, but only one 'great room' and a relatively small kitchen and dining room. All meals were eaten around the one table. Sometimes the cousins would be there. See, Aunt Aud and Uncle Ray were actually my Great Aunt and Uncle. Aud and my grandmother were sisters. There were 12 in their generation. Eleven of whom lived to adulthood. My mom was an only child, but I have oodles of cousins. Cousins I don't even know. Heck... they could be living down the street for all I know....

So sometimes cousins would be present. It was extra special when the Texas cousins would be in residence too. Lori and I would spend all day outdoors....hiking about and hunting golf balls for Uncle Ray's collection, in coffee cans, in the basement. Which was more "really big crawl space" than traditional basement.

Sometimes that house would just be stuffed with people. There wasn't bickering or annoyance with the cozy quarters. Everyone had a bed and we didn't spend much time inside anyway. I think my immediate family went up there in the winter twice. Once before Aud and Ray moved there full time and once after they couldn't do winters anymore. For me, Lake Tahoe was always synonymous with summers. Most people equate it with winter. Skiing and all other winter sports are what makes Lake Tahoe famous. That and the clear blue water.

Our family didn't ski. When we went up in the winter, we got out sleds and made a couple of snowmen. But mostly we stayed in and enjoyed the beauty of the snow white golf course, undisturbed.

We live 2 hours from Lake Tahoe now. It's a day trip. Easy to go up in the morning and come back in the evening. But we don't. Not often. When we do, we wonder why we don't do this more often.

The first weekend of July found Normy and me in Tahoe. Zephyr Cove specifically. Again, we wondered why we stay in the hot smoggy valley instead of driving up the mountain to the cool clean air of Tahoe.

When I got out of the car the smell of summer washed over me. Ah.... THIS is the smell of summer. Most just smell the pines. But I've been other places with pine trees and it doesn't take me back in an instant to summer vacation on the golf course.

As soon as we unloaded our luggage in our room, I went immediately to the water's edge. Now that house on the golf course is FAR from the water. We had to pack up and drive to the beach to dip our toes in that melted snow. So the water wasn't the main memory for me. I grew up miles from the Pacific Ocean and so the "beach" of a lake was such a disappointment. Sand was course, waves were wimpy.

Now, however, I crawled over the rocks and listened to those wimpy waves against the rocks. I live far far too far away from the ocean now. I breathed the clear lake air into my lungs. Those pine trees are so kind to scrub away the nasties from the air for me. I was sure to bring my camera.... I took that photo up there from those rocks along the shore.

In my "money is irrelevent" ideal world, we would have a house in Lake Tahoe. We would be up there frequently. We would spend a week just being there. Doing a whole lot of nothing and enjoying every minute of it.

We live 2 hours from one of the Earth's greatest treasures. Lake Tahoe is on people's lists of "100 places to visit before I die". I take it for granted. It's just up the road. So close. So easy to access. I can go "later".

I'm still not fond of Tahoe in the winter. It's AWFULLY cold. And snowy. But the other three seasons? I should be there.

I will.

How to BE an idiot....

2006-08-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

Stand up in front of a governing body and state, for the record, that would stand for all time.....

"Poor people shouldn't be allowed to vote for this measure because they won't understand and will vote the wrong way."

THAT is how to be an idiot.

In case you were wondering.

How Not To Be An Idiot

2006-08-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

First. Get your facts right. Cause nothing guts your argument than having the supervisor you just ripped into, correct you on a basic fact. When you base your opinion and argument on an incorrect assumption, you not only have to re-evaluate your position, but you look like an ass. Or raving lunatic. Take your pick.

Second. Don't get up in front of a governing body and make ridiculous comparisons. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I choose my investments, I don't choose a gallon of milk. IF it lasts around my house for two weeks, it will be smelling up the place. So when you ask if you should invest in an arena or a gallon of milk, you are inviting people to say "you are an idiot". I get what you mean... but say what you mean. That would make you look less like an idiot and more like a reasonable person.

Third. Do not threaten a governing body with Mike Wallace knocking on their door. First off, Mike Wallace is retired. Second, do you REALLY think Sacramento is the first community to have a ballot measure to fund a sports arena? The answer is no. So it isn't news.

Fourth. To equate a quarter cent sales tax hike to Enron is.... well, idiotic. 'Nuff said there.

Fifth. The last I checked, having your own business and making money was known as "The American Dream". To deride those who have done that very thing makes you look jealous and bitter and petty. As well as an idiot.

Sixth. To whine about the lack of proper police and fire service in the area of a new arena and threaten not to support the sales tax increase unless fire and police services are increased (read: more hired) makes you shine as the union hack you are. All the taxes (sales, income and property) generated from a new arena and surrounding businesses would pay for new cops and firefighters. Not to mention all the cops hired by the arena for special events. Either as "moonlighters" or as directly contracted. It's what they do now. New arena, same staffing issues. It isn't like we're adding ANOTHER arena. We are REPLACING the existing one. Yea, the new one has to be covered. But here's a news flash: The old one won't. Just like the old Arco doesn't require a police presence anymore. Funny how that works. Failing to comprehend that very basic fact makes you look like an idiot.

Seventh. Do not yell when giving public comment. No one listens when the ranting starts. State your position clearly and calmly. People listen when you do. If you start yelling and threatening, you look like an idiot.

....just sayin'.

Are you "in"?

2006-07-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

Are you in the "in group"? One of the "popular people"?

Today's sermon spoke of our need as humans to control God. We often do this through prayer. Those we pray for are the "in group". We are bargaining with God on behalf of an ill family member or a friend during hard times.

The "out group" are all those people we don't pray for.

Right now I know of someone who is being prayed for. The anthropologist in me watches this with great amusement. See.... this is a new "in group" person. There was someone else who caused this same kind of reaction in the same group of people. She was frequently prayed for and much sympathy for her situation was freely given. Her situation hasn't changed. She just isn't the one that's "in" anymore.

It could be argued with absolute logic and reason, that the prayers for this person haven't worked. Her situation is unimproved. Despite many prayers by many faithful people, her situation is not much different, if at all, than it was a year ago. Or two years ago. I suspect the same will be true for the new subject of great prayers as well.

How is it that prayer becomes a weapon. A divining rod of who is worthy and who is not. I am a lousy pray-er. When asked if I would like to lead the prayer, I decline. Not really... no thanks. I am told there are no bad prayers. Yea? You haven't heard mine. Cause sometimes my prayer goes along the lines of: Dear God, please give me the strength to not tell her to suck it up already and fix it. Thank you. Amen.

I am often asked to pray for This or That. I usually don't. I usually pray asking God to be with that person and give him/her strength. I don't like praying for healing..... if someone isn't healed, does that mean God said "no"? Does that mean God didn't listen? Does it mean God doesn't care?

When Pastor Carl gave his sermon today I could totally relate. I often feel that prayer and the request for prayers deliniate who is in and who is out. Who deserves favor from God and who does not. When public prayer is offered for one person and not for another who might be suffering more.... why? Why does one deserve prayers and another does not?

Several months ago (a year or more) frequent requests for prayers came to me for an ill child. Tragic, to be sure. Don't get me wrong. But one request came for another ill child. This woman was someone's child. She was an adult with children of her own. She was just as terminal.... and just as loved... as the preschooler that was prayed for more often and by more people. What made that child "in"? Why would she be more deserving of God's grace than the 20something year old young mother (and daughter and wife)?

Shouldn't we all be "in" with God?

Aren't we?

Voting Rights

2006-07-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

No. Not the kind from last Thursday. Which, by the way, doesn't mean jack if all you get is the right to vote without the right to have your damn vote counted. But I digress.....

The kind of voting rights I'm talking about is the kind that is before the Sacramento Board of Supervisors on August 2. The right to vote on the aforementioned quarter cent sales tax. There is a lot of talk about whether or not the quarter cent sales tax and resulting arena is good for Sacramento. Something like 60 people spoke on the matter last week. From what I could gather from the news, half spoke in favor and half spoke against (no doubt by design...usually they have a one in favor, one against rule at such hearings).

I am considering going on Wednesday to speak on the Matter Before The Supervisors. To wit: To place the matter before the voters. One supervisor voted against. She is not my personal representative to the board, but I will remember her anyway. I don't take kindly to supervisors or council members saying "no, the people shall not vote".

I realize they make these decisions every day. And not every matter should come before the voters. Most of the stuff that does, shouldn't. It is how California got into the ungovernable mess we are in and will be in for a very long time to come. But there are things that should go before the voters. One of our city council members voted to NOT put a library bond measure on the ballot a few years ago. That was BEFORE his dirty re-election politics. He lost my vote on that one matter alone. Telling me that I did not have the right to vote to tax myself for a new library was a fatal mistake in my book. Sadly, the majority of Elk Grove citizens don't pay attention to what the City Council is doing. Again.... I digress.

We, the citizens of Sacramento County, have the right to vote on whether or not WE think it is worth another quarter of a cent on every dollar we spend. If Supervisor MacGlashan thinks it's a bad idea, she can vote no when she goes into her voting booth. It is her right. If enough people agree with her, then that will be that. If enough people disagree with her... well, her shopping decisions will be her own.

The next trick will be getting all those people who think it's a fine idea out to vote in November. It is always the trick.

Service

2006-07-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

In our cable internet, fast food, instant message world, it is difficult to teach children about delayed gratification. "I've been working on this for 2 minutes and it is not finished...I give up." Teaching them to work hard at a project, over time, and wait for the results is difficult.

It is even more difficult to teach them why they should...why they MUST... do such a thing when there is no tangible reward for them personally. Even the simple act of doing chores (see... you have a clean glass the next time you want something to drink because you loaded the dishwasher now) doesn't drive that point home very well. Doing homework today so one has the knowledge for the test at the end of the week is terribly abstract. We often resort to "because I said so". It works... but is the lesson learned?

For the second summer, Kaitlyn is far away from our home. Trusted to the care of good friends who will watch over her as if she were their own.... for she is. She is part of their families as their children are part of our ours. Our church family. She has terribly restrictive rules that will serve her well. We allow her to self-medicate when she feels the need for allergy medication. We do so because she needs to learn to be able to listen to her body and care for it. They do not allow her to do so because some might have issues with controlled substances so all substance are controlled. This chafes but lessons are learned. She must be taught how to use the power tools before she can use them. Again. Everyone who is using a power tool must have instruction even if they use them every day the rest of the year. This is the only way they can be sure no one goes uninstructed. "I KNOW...!" I know you know. Everyone knows. Except the new people. And you might have forgotten. The worst rule, hands down, for all of them is the No Cell Phone rule. They must be left at home.

Teens don't think outside themselves naturally. It is a time of self-centeredness. We all go through it. Some of us are fortunate enough to be taught to think outside ourselves ANYWAY. Others grow up to be the same self-centered teens in adult bodies. But that's a blog for another day.....

Last summer Kaitlyn put a new roof on a house (with her team) that needed it. It was a house far different from those Kaitlyn and her team live in. Fractionally smaller certainly. No granite counter tops. No SubZero appliances. No internet hookups. No wide screen TV's. No swimming pool in the backyard.

They stayed late the last day and finished their roof. They were within their rights to leave it for the next week's team to finish. They nearly missed dinner that last day in their quest to finish. But finish they did. They made their counselor's proud, the leadership proud and the family who owned the house happy. They also made their families proud of them. More importantly, they made themselves proud. We finished the roof. They worked hard. They worked long hours. On a roof in the summer. For someone else. Their decision to stay and finish that roof was a good one. A new team was expected the following week. But something happened. Illness or something. I don't remember now, but it meant that the worksite was shut down for the summer. The full time volunteers (they are there the entire summer) had to finish all the incomplete projects. But not that roof.

We won't know what Kaitlyn did this week until she gets home. The only communication we get is "they have arrived safely". No further communication is good because we would only hear if there was an emergency. No news is good news. We send communication to THEM... and they must sing and dance for their mail. So she might be roofing, she might be painting. She might be putting on a deck, repairing a porch or adding a wheelchair ramp. She will do what is needed and necessary. From what I am always told, she does so without complaint. She gives a full effort. She is careful and conscientious. This is, of course, far from our experience at home!

But we are still proud of her. She has mentioned that she won't be going to SSP next year. Summer school and summer homework is on her list next year. She has been spending and will be spending long hours working on summer homework that is due on August 11 in payment for missing a week at home. (Which I think is just wrong, but there it is) We shall see. I know that the thought of being out in the heat working on home improvement projects does not appeal to me in the least. Nor does it appeal to Emma. She asked if she "had to" go to SSP. I told her no.... she did not.

That won't absolve her from Service however. We will just have to find something a bit less sweaty for her.

Priorities

2006-07-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

There will be a lot of talk about priorities here in town between now and November. Talking about priorities is a good thing. It is especially good before an election. But talking about priorities without vision and the ability to see The Big Picture is pointless.

Priority. Improve schools. GREAT idea. That always sounds good. How to do so? Usually it means "more money". Which also sounds like a good idea. But again, priorities. Sacramento City Unified School Board put "new building on prime real estate" as a priority over spending the money they had in classrooms. Elk Grove Unified, on the other hand, spends more of their allotment in the classroom. It doesn't matter if more money is raised if it is prioritized into the classroom.

Priority. Poor people and the homeless. I absolutely agree that the poor and homeless need services. We do a pretty good job of that in Sacramento County. We can do better, to be sure. But we DO have some solid services in place. So much so that we have a problem with the homeless from other places coming here because of these services. We cannot house all the homeless. Simply because some of them might be HOUSEless, but they are not HOMEless. Their home isn't a building but a camp along the river. There are those who have no desire to get sober and move off the river's edge. That's fine. We can still be sure medical care is provided, food is available and services are offered. There are those who would disagree with me, but I think a priority of our society should be to care for those who don't care enough about themselves. We cannot solve the problem, but we can manage it.

Priority. Affordable housing. This is tricky. Housing is a for profit business. And when the house is worth less than is owed, times are bad. "Affordable housing" has often become the ghetto. The problems of the facilities and the people that live there are myriad. There is no single solution and no amount of money will solve the problems. The will of each individual must be there. That can not be legislated, mandated or bought.

Priority. Fill the potholes. Guess what California and Sacramento County.... we pay for our potholes to be filled. Every time we buy a tank of gas and every time we make a purchase and pay our sales tax. The money is THERE. It has just been spent on NEW roads instead of repair of old roads. We keep building new communities needing wider main roads, new main roads, wider freeways, new freeways. Sacramento County is working to add a freeway/expressway between Highway 50 and Highway 99. It will take a tremendous amount of money. But it is agreed a new freeway in that area is a priority.

Currently our sales tax rate is 7.75%. So when I bought my Sacramento Bee yesterday I paid 54 cents. If the sales tax rate were to be raised to an even 8%, I would pay.... 54 cents. On a $1 purchase, the sales tax PAID will be the same. On a $2 purchase, it would be a penny more. Yes, I know those pennies add up. I might be bad at math, but I'm pretty good at arithmetic.

Priority. Raising the sales tax one quarter percent (to an even 8%) for the next 15 years. There will be much talk about the taxpayers financing "millionaire playboys" and their basketball team. The only problem with that is that it is, simply put, wrong.

Normy and I were trying to think of the basketball games we've been to. We remember going with the Australian Air Force. (not ALL of them, just those stationed here for a bit) That might have even been before the Maloofs owned the team. We have a vague recollection of going before that... but neither of us can clearly remember if it was another time or not. So maybe we've been to two basketball games. Why haven't we been to basketball games? Because basketball isn't our game. And we aren't really good with planning ahead. That's why movies are good. We decide right now to go catch a movie, we go, we get tickets, all is good. We've done that with River Cats too. One morning last summer I sent Normy an email and said "River Cats game at 11. Wanna go?" He took a vacation day and we went to the ballgame. Got there after the first pitch and got a ticket. The Kings would be sold out.

However, we have been to Arco Arena many times. I've been there for Paul McCartney twice. Garth Brooks. More Disney on Ice than I'd like to think about. Graduation. Someone told me recently that she wasn't going to go to Arco for a concert anymore. The acoustics are horrible. Well.... yea..... And it's expensive. Well.... yea..... But that's Paul McCartney or the Eagles. Cause Disney on Ice is affordable. And our floor Garth Brooks seats were less than our nose bleeder McCartney tickets.

So why should we spend $5/person/month (the projected amount) for a new arena? Because it will be the cornerstone of the railyard development. A new arena will be bigger. It will require more people to run it, on all levels. Restaurants will spring up nearby. The bonus to this quarter cent is that it will also fund other things. A portion of the sales tax will go to the cities that generated them in about 7 years. Seven years is a long time, but that's how we get back to vision and The Big Picture.

In seven years (2013) a new arena will have been open for three years. Emma will probably have her graduation at the new arena. Yea... Emma's graduation. That seems forever in the future and just around the corner all at the same time. In seven years we will have had 2 presidential elections. Seven years ago we were worrying about the Y2K bug. If we had done this THEN, we would have that sales tax money NOW. Money that could build a new library in Elk Grove. Or help with those annoying median weeds. It could be used to finish paving that last few blocks of Elk Grove Blvd that is determined to shake my car apart every time I drive over it. Right. Now.

The question that will be facing us in November, as a county, will be very simple. Do we have vision? Can we, the taxpayers, see The Big Picture? Can we set aside the narrow view that this all about Joe and Gavin (because it isn't) and understand that it takes money to make money. Funding the new arena will attract private investment in an area that is currently an ugly swath of land in the middle of Sacramento.

The money out of each person's pocket will be marginal. Some will feel it more than others. Some will pay more than others. Frankly, I don't buy the $70 t-shirts I see in stores anyway. So when I spend $5 on a new t-shirt I won't be putting as much into the bucket as those that have $70 to spend on a white t-shirt. Nor will I feel it as a family living closer to the edge. But unless we are growing, we are dying. We can complain about growth, but the fact is we need it. We need to attract more families and businesses. We do that with good facilities. A new arena now. Maybe a new theater (the live kind, not the movie kind) in the future. Children's museum? Children's theater? Maybe a new zoo. Perhaps a hotel (with a hefty hotel tax).

The Maloofs are putting their money in. They will get it back out over the next 30 years the guarantee the Kings and Monarchs to be in Sacramento. We will get it back too. Not only in the sales tax, but in the taxes and revenue generated by both the arena and the other 'attractions' that will be at the Old Railyard.

Vision. Do we have it?

Lies

2006-07-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them... (my apologies to Al Franken...)

Why are we so quick to believe the lies? It doesn't matter if dozens of people, known and random, says the new hair do is wonderful! cute! ... what is heard and remembered every morning in the mirror is that jealous woman who said "what the hell did you do to your hair?".

I heard someone ask recently "How do get over caring what people think?" or something along those lines. She wasn't asking about the big things... like your children thinking you're a good mom... but the little things like "am I being judged for wearing grubbies in the garden?" Her question is a good one.... Why DO we care?

Why do we care about the opinion of someone who would think "look at her getting muddy in her grungies! How TACKY!" Martha Stewart can just shut the hell up. And I'm guessing that ol' Martha isn't camera ready when she's stirring the compost....

It is the lies that reverberate in our heads. Some friends of mine are working their way through the book The Artist's Way. I have the book too. One of the exercises was to list and then purge the "monsters" that told you that you weren't creative or artistic... at all, enough, the right way... whatever. One is to also list "Champions"... those that championed all things artistic that you produced. We listen to the monsters and dismiss the champions. The point of the exercise is to reverse that. Listen to the champions, dismiss the monsters.

The problem with lies is they are so good at masquerading as truth. Often, they have just enough truth to make them appear to be whole truth. Far too often they are told by someone who is trusted and would be in the position to speak the truth. Sometimes they are told in a vacuum... away from any one or any thing that would contradict the lie. Lies hide under rocks an leap forth unexpectedly from new sources.

Recently I have both been fed up with a particular lie (for all the usual reasons one would get fed up with a lie) and fascinated with this lie. As this lie resurfaced recently I was watching Court TV and half listening to the talking heads. One of them said, speaking of Andrea Yates, "does it matter if it was God or Satan that told her to kill her kids?" I thought how true a statement that is. Does it matter WHO tells the lie? If it is a lie, it has no validity no. matter. who. repeats it. The Lie resurfaced from another source. It was not shocking as I have always believed The Liar and The Repeater are in communication. It was surprising that The Repeater to the special effort it took to repeat the lie. I am also sure that because The Repeater said it, she felt it took on truth and authority.

No. It is still a lie.

The Liar and The Repeaters (there are more than one... without many Repeaters, lies die) find authority and truth in their own repetition. Pointing to The Lie as proof of The Truth. "The Lie said it, so it must be." and "The Liar said it, so it must be true. The Liar has always spoke truth." Yea. Until The Liar lied.

When I first heard The Lie, I thought it was a joke. The Liar SURELY did not say such a thing. That is ridiculous! Who would believe it! I giggled over The Lie because it was so outlandish. But The Lie took root and now has a life of it's own. I suspect I will be reminded of The Lie for many years to come.

I can, and have been sorely tempted to, offer a line by line rebuttal. But that is just fertilizer on the weed. I can only continue on as I always have. Being the same person I always have been. For it is not I that has changed. I continue to pray for The Liar. I continue to pray for The Repeaters. For unlike them, I have heard both The Lie and The Truth. I also know my own actions and words. The Repeaters don't have that privilege.

A couple of months ago I read an advice column that runs in our paper with a letter from someone who could have been The Liar. It wasn't... the circumstances were vastly different. But the story was, of course, only her point of view. I could absolutely understand why she felt hurt. Why she saw her friends the way she did. But I also heard her voiceless friends.

In the past I would have heard that one side and made a judgment on her friends. Now... I hear the other side. I can see that there is far FAR more to this story. Even if the written story was precisely accurate, there is a lie lurking in those words. A lie of omission perhaps, but a lie nonetheless.

I have never been one to believe what is said just because of who told it to me. I am even more wary now. I also am more sure of who The Repeaters are. People who not only should know better but who would be ever so quick to condemn others for doing the same. Respect for such folks is at an all time low, even as they look at me with increasing disdain. No worries.... judge me on the words of others if you wish. Your action as a Repeater speaks more to your character than of mine.

Such it is with lies. They catch up people who would never dream themselves in the middle of such pedestrian webs.

Fortunately, lies are pretty easily dealt with. Continuing being the person you are and proving that The Liar is indeed a liar is the best cure. It's a long process, but the most effective.

Guarding your heart? I still don't have an answer for that.

Party At The Palms

2006-07-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

What? Me & Marfy don't look like Paris and Tara? Hmph.

No matter.... we don't want their blonde, skinny butts hanging with us ANYWAY.

But we floated around the cement pond. We drank adult beverages. We ate (HA! Paris and Tara don't get to do THAT) steak and corn picked fresh that morning.... topped it off with homemade vanilla ice cream.

Good times..... Good times indeed.

....and this time we let the children and menfolk join us!

Happiness Is.....

2006-07-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

When your husband fills the car with gas and cleans the windshield of all the bugs too.

Literally

2006-07-05T13:47:00.002-07:00

Background: We have several (4) of those over the door bracket things to hang your clothes on.. use it for visitors or when you are ironing or need something to drip dry.... One is facing outward on the bathroom/bedroom door. One inward. One is on the WC door. One on the closet door.

******************

I walked into the house and asked Kaitlyn to go hang Norm's shirts, fresh from the dry cleaners, "on the door upstairs".

Later I go upstairs to find both shirts neatly hung....

On the moulding around the door to our bedroom.

"You SAID "on the door"!"

right.

my bad.

I think I can help.....

2006-06-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

First, I read this article on Yahoo!.

Then Kaitlyn said she need black pumps for Grand Bethel. Had to have black shoes with a back... not a strap. Pumps. Ok. Payless Shoe Source. Purveyors of the cheap black pump.

Busy busy day today. Lots of places to go. WHY no place opens before 10 around here, I don't know. I take that back. Some places DO. Like the car wash. I wonder when Payless Shoe Source opens...

Check online. I get the phone number.

I CALL the phone number. ONE ringy dingy. TWO ringy dingy...... TEN ringy dingy..... Only to be answered with that high pitched squeal of a fax machine.

I call the one across town. Same song, second verse.

Contact customer service with this suggestion:

It is just after 8am my time. I have a thousand errands to run today in
a short window of time. My daughter needs black pumps. When does Payless
Shoes open? I don't know. I called both stores near me and got a high
pitched whiney tone when it 'answered". A recording with store hours
would have been very helpful. If they are open when I'm out, I'll stop.
But now I can't time my route to be sure

I get the standard auto response about my email being important and someone will respond yada yada yada....

Which they did. Tonight.

EXCELLENT.

Uh huh. Until I read it.... But really... what should I expect from a grown woman still spelling her name that way....

Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for contacting Payless ShoeSource.

Thank you for your message.  Our operating hours vary depending on business needs and store locations.  Please contact your local store for their hours.

Ashli

Damn fine idea you have there Ashli. CALL the store..... Wish I woulda thought of it myself...

To which I replied....

RIGHT.

But a RECORDING at each store, with that information would be MUCH more helpful than getting an obnoxious noise that not only pierces my eardrum but makes me think I have the FAX line.

Just thought it would help you get more business.....letting people know when you were open so they didn't have to make a useless trip....

I left off the part about how it wasn't MY job that was gonna get flushed because no one knew when the store was open.

Methinks CEO Matt is gonna need more than new signs and paint to make a difference....

Blog Lifted....

2006-06-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Anvil...

On her radio show recently, Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two differentcrops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D.

Professor Emeritus

Discordant

2006-06-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Kentucky Fried Chicken playing Sweet Home Alabama in their ads.

Payoff

2006-06-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

You trudge through each day. You repeat yourself and are redundant and say it again. Then one day.... Payoff.

Today was such a day for me.

Emma and I attended graduation for a special friend of ours. Jeannie graduated from the program at Jessie Baker School and will now go on to the adult program... continuing to build her life skills that started at Jessie Baker 16 years ago.

To thank their church family for all the love and support shown Jeannie through the years, Jeannie's parents took us out to lunch to a new restaurant in town, The Boulevard Bistro. It's a bit spendy for dinner and we just hadn't had the proper occasion to dine there yet. I asked those who had been there before if they thought the menu would be Emma-friendly. I was told they DID have a hamburger on the menu. Ok... we'll be fine.

But I talked to Emma first. After an initial thought that she'd rather just go home, some thinking about it, some more discussion... she decided that she did want to go. I explained that this was a NICE restaurant and the food might be rather fancy. Even a hamburger might be too fru-fru. I reminded her that this would be a place for her grown up manners and that if her food came and it was not to her liking, that she was not to make any sort of fuss... we could stop and get something on our way home...no worries. She agreed and we went.

We sat down at our white tablecloth covered table. After a moment of confusion as to where EXACTLY she was supposed to sit because "there's too much silverware, I can't tell." she promptly put her napkin in her lap. She considered the soup and salad selection. I asked that the soup was for the day.... and upon hearing "shrimp bisque" she said she would like a hamburger. The official name was "Cheddar Burger". She asked me if it would be ok if she just said "cheeseburger". I assured her that would be fine. She ordered using her grown up voice and was further confused when asked how she would like that cooked. I knew she was thinking "on a grill?". I just said "medium" for her and she was relieved to have that done.

We were sitting with two ladies from church. Both of whom Emma knows and who know Emma. Emma had a nice conversation with Patsy while I spoke with Eleanor. When bread arrived I gave her a piece. I had already explained what that funny looking knife was for and she promptly used her butter knife to butter her bread. After everyone had a 'round' of the bread, she asked if she could please have another slice. When given the go ahead, she took one slice and used the proper utensil again.

She didn't squirm. She spoke when spoken to. She didn't interrupt. She didn't use a loud voice. She didn't have to take a bathroom tour. She said please and thank you. She didn't slurp or spill her water.

When her cheeseburger arrived, she carefully spread ketchup on the bun and didn't make a mess. She ate her fries and burger with her hands (as is appropriate) and made liberal use of her napkin. She ate her entire lunch and did not ask if she could get dessert. As we were leaving, she thanked our hosts.

She was, simply, a delightful luncheon companion. And I was sure to tell her so. I was sure to tell her dad the same when we got home, within her earshot.

She was the only child there today. Jeannie's brother was the next youngest and he's 19? 20? Her behavior was far beyond her 10 years. She was as grownup as anyone else there today.

The bonus? "I had FUN too!" she told me when we got in the car.

Payoff. For both of us.

Summer... as it ought to be

2006-06-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

Today, Emma and I shared a salad for lunch. Salad is good for lunch in the summer. We had been running errands and stopped at the store for dinner fixin's and got salad fixin's. Emma decided that sundried tomatoes ARE good after all.

Then she went swimming this afternoon.

Came home for dinner.

Went back for more swimming.

Tomorrow there will be some more necessary errands to be run in preparation for that other summer necessity... vacation. Getting away. Sleeping in a bed not your own, vacation. In this case, they will both be going to visit Aunt Sharon for a week. All are very excited.

When they return it will be back to a grueling schedule of sleeping late (very late if one is a teen) and playing with friends late.

Tentative plans for swimming in a cement pond out in the boonies and inviting The Boy to join us.... all good, all good.

Friday is our last, last day of school.

ahhhhhhhhhhh

On Adulthood

2006-05-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

In our culture we have no real rite of passage that moves you from childhood to adulthood. No ceremony. No ritual piercing or trek into the wilderness. I suppose the closest we get is when we move from the Kids' Table to the Big Table with the other adults at family holiday dinners.

Some people say they felt like an adult when they got their first real job, got married or had their first child. Others have said they didn't feel like an adult until their parents died. For me, some days I feel more like an adult than others. Most days I just marvel at the fact that I, in fact, am the grown up. My parents are both still alive, although they live many hours away. While I know they are always there if I need them, they aren't immediately available. Maybe a day away available.... So I don't think that is the "moment" I'm waiting for, so to speak.

But then there are days that I wonder how it is that one can NOT be the adult. My oldest child was born an adult. She was pretty much ready to move out and get job at about age 3. Those of you who know her are sitting there saying "well.....yea...she was..." My youngest child is perfectly content playing the role of the baby of the family. She will freely admit to this as well. On occasion, she will play that as her trump card.

Even as the perfectly content baby of the family, that child shows a maturity and wisdom that makes my heart leap. She faces disappointment with a trembly lip and tears flowing, but without tantrum or rage. Such is life....sometimes one is disappointed. Sometimes one does not get what one wants when one wants it.

I see those over the age of majority time and time again acting very much NOT like the adults their birthdate says they are. Decisions are made and the consequences bite and they are shocked. Disappointments are met with rage and tantrums. Small difficulties are nearly insurmountable obstacles.

Perspective is offered and rebuffed as being unwanted and unasked for. Rant in private. Ask not for advice if none is wished.

Hallmarks of adulthood:
* The ability to communicate. This doesn't mean the ability to decide on which movie to see, but to speak of the difficult. To be able to speak and hear truth, most especially when the truth is difficult.

* The ability to face responsibility. Pay your bills. If you can't, do what it takes to do so. And when you can't, don't whine about it, fix it. Care for your children. (see: pay your bills) Equip your children to live as adults. Saddle them with chores and liberties. Make them wash the dishes and let them walk to a friend's house. It is your responsibility AS and adult to create NEW ones. Is it your fault? Suck it up and admit it. Did you make a poor decision? Deal with it and move on. Blame no one else but yourself.

* Mind your own business. You may think it's your business, but an adult knows when it is not. An adult can also discern when all that is heard is one loud point of view that there is probably, no... there is CERTAINLY another point of view. An adult also knows the difference between minding your own business and stepping in to right an injustice.

* When given a choice, take the high road. Sometimes the hardest thing to do as an adult is to take the high road. It is what I struggle to do. I struggle when the opposite of the high road is to right an injustice. But if I am to be the adult, I must let the injustice stand. I must let the slander, misconceptions and half (or less) truths stand.

* You are the only one who can make you happy. No other person can make you happy. Not your spouse. Not your friends. No other place can make you happy. If you are unhappy, you will be unhappy in a different place, with different friends, with a different spouse. These people and places didn't make you unhappy to begin with. Did you have a bad thing happen to you? Deal with it and move on. Children sulk. Adults deal.

I'm sure there are more, but those are mine for now.

Erudition

2006-05-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

There have been a couple of incidents that have caused me to contemplate education lately. Not intelligence, but education. I know lots of intelligent people. I also know some well educated people. Some of them wear their education like a Miss America sash.

They say stuff like "I don't watch "American Idol". I've been too busy with planning events for my local Mensa meeting." Now I don't watch "American Idol" either. But that's because I'm watching "Criminal Minds" or "CSI New York". It's a matter of preferring a good crime drama over Simon Crowell.

Scholarship is a noble goal. Certainly there are those academics for whom the pursuit of greater knowledge is their entire life work. Generally speaking they are one hit wonders. They can speak for hours on the cultural significance and impact of 17th century Russian poets using only iambic pentameter, but for all they know Limp Bizkit is a culinary mistake at high tea.

I find the angst and consternation over "American Idol" and "Survivor" dull. But I would rather spend an evening with people who are well informed on both of those than an academic who is proud of his/her ignorance on those two topics.

Vapid thought and conversation is not the dominion of the uneducated. Ignorance comes in many forms. I may not know anything about 17th century Russian poets, iambic pentameter not withstanding. But I know who the "American Idol" finalists are tonight. That doesn't mean I care who they are and who wins, but I can name them.

Basic education should be broad and varied. Higher education should delve deeper into that broad and varied education. It makes you more interesting. When one holds only a certain area of knowledge in higher esteem to the dismissal of the rest, it doesn't elevate one in the eyes of others. It just makes one tiresome.

For Stacy

2006-05-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

After being told that she is bored with the blogs she reads regularly and that they need to be updated, some of us have dug deep to give Stacy something new to read. (Who should be getting her scrapbook jobs done instead of frittering time away on the computer...)

I have been struggling with WHAT to write. I had no diseases to chronicle. My week is blissfully dull.

And then.... then I have this. A blog that *I* read regularly but I don't know if Stacy does. But today's entry was written just for me so I could post it here so Stacy could read it too.

Bird

2006-05-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

We have a blue bird. He's a bird. He's blue. I don't know any more about this bird than that.

He is...about three years old. He is not a caged bird. He's a wild bird. But every year at about this time, he comes back.

You are probably wondering how I know it is the same blue colored bird.....

Because every year at about this time, around mid-day, he starts banging at our dining room window. Or maybe that's just "banging our dining room window".

We aren't sure if he sees a mate or a rival in the the reflection of the window. But whatever it is, it results in a constant banging at the window.

I have noticed this year he is less vigorous in his banging. It used to be relentless.... constant for about five hours a day. He now takes a swipe or two at that bird in the window and quits. Maybe he's just getting too old to bang into windows all day long. Maybe he figures 'she' isn't gonna give it up or 'he' isn't gonna go away. I don't know.

Our little bird started out by annoying me to no end. First by me not being able to figure out who/what was banging the house. He would fly away when there was movement behind the window. It was by chance I caught him. Second by banging. into. the. window. every. 10. seconds. for. hours.

But as I realize our little friend is slowing down..... I think I shall miss him. I suspect this is our last spring with him.

Reality Check

2006-05-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

I don't do "Reality" TV. I have only watched Survivor once. And that was because EVERYONE else wanted to watch it and I was polite. I understand some guy named Chris was recently voted of the American Idol Island and this was a tragedy and the Supreme Court may be looking into voting irregularities. (wait... no.........)

I do not understand the consternation. I do not understand how petitions can be circulated because the voting machines didn't work for a TELEVISION SHOW, but these same people don't give a crap about the voting machines not working in a presidential election because they didn't vote in THAT one. Priorities here people.... let's re-evaluate.

Then there is the 'reality' of make believe shows. The ones not even 'ripped from the headlines'. The pure fiction ones. The ones that exist solely to entertain and get you to tune in next week (or next season as the case is every May).

I am completely amused at the MORAL OUTRAGE at Meridith and McDreamy's ADULTRY. How DARE they! That slut Meridith.... he's MARRIED!!! That cad McDreamy.... he's MARRIED! Or.... "there is NO WAY Izzy wouldn't have gotten kicked out on her ass if she had done that in a real hospital!"

There's a clue. It is NOT a "real hospital". It is a TV show. It is make believe.

How is it that Horatio can just LEAVE his dying new bride (who was shot by not that person but another person and that really just doesn't make sense)?? NO WAY a police department would let her husband and brother investigate her shooting/murder!!! They have OTHER cops!

Again. This isn't a documentary of the Miami/Dade Police Department. In reality the Miami/Dade Police Department doesn't issue Hummers to their CSI's either...

What just cracks me up is some of the people who overlay real life on pretend TV are also some very intense soap opera fans.

What? Adultry, murder, incest (but they don't know it at the time, of course) kidnappings and resurrection after a fiery plane crash.... all in one character.... THAT doesn't seem "off" to you? But Meridith and McDreamy gettin' it on does?

If you need moral outrage, examine the White House's interest in your phone calls. If you need a reason to be pissed off, wonder why Karl Rove hasn't been kicked out on HIS ass. The reality of the real world (not to be confused with the not so much Real World tv show) should get you plenty outraged.